The answer appears from the juke box in my head: a soundtrack of Jackson Browne’s 1977 “Running on Empty.”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq25ZJwZJzU (Go ahead and play it if you don’t recall the song.)
That song resonated with me at the time of its release. I’m two years and a few days younger than Jackson Browne, but by 1977 I was five years into my career as a consulting actuary, knowing I had sold my soul for a corporate life and already working on a plan for early retirement. Twenty-seven and already running on empty.
Fast forward to 2018 and the possible events that triggered my internal jukebox to queue up “Running on Empty.” Last month I attended my 50th high school reunion. Fifty years gone by like so many summer fields. The harvests bountiful but little to show of it: stubble holding the soil in place, bunches of worn-out machinery parked in a woodlot, and the reasonable financial security from being lucky and thrifty. I doubt my 17-year-old self would have projected how my life has so far turned out. That optimistic youth on fire to change the world would undoubtedly be disappointed at the pragmatic 67-year-old he’s become. At least the pragmatic 67-year-old isn’t disappointed in the kid.
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And tomorrow, when I’ve finished completing all the online and physical paperwork notifying the world of Mom’s change in address, I’ll get back to the worlds inside my head. I’ll edit False Bottom, the 6th Seamus McCree, and I’ll write the next scene in my next novel.
Here’s a sad little secret: even in these made up worlds of mine, characters don’t say and act the lines I expected. They have their own wills, and I’m often running behind trying to catch up to the road they’re traveling on.
* * *
James
M. Jackson authors the Seamus McCree mystery series. Empty Promises, the fifth novel in the series—this one set in the
deep woods of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula—is now available. You can sign up for
his newsletter and find more information about Jim and his books at https://jamesmjackson.com.
Thanks for the link. I hadn't heard that song in a while.
ReplyDeleteI hope your mother finds her new living arrangements to be comfortable and pleasing. I know my mother, who didn't want to leave the "house that your father bought me" found assistive living to free her from concerns and worries once she stopped lamenting her loss.
I understand about the characters taking over. I think that may be the best (and possibly the most troubling) thing about being a pantser. Your characters never cease to amaze you with what they come up with!
I know the feeling very well. Your mother might find she really enjoys the new setting. And as to characters, all my characters act on their own. They just allow me to tell their stories since, thankfully, none of them has figure out how to type.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your mom is settled. Her new room looks so much larger with furniture in it. And I hope your writing life is settled and moving forward. Your characters might surprise you.
ReplyDeleteKM -- it's our hope too that once Mom settles in, she'll realize the advantages of her new living situation outweigh the disadvantages of smaller physical space.
ReplyDeleteWarren -- I'm worried that with new technology that will allow machines to recognize thoughts that my characters may short circuit the normal writing stage and go directly from thought to manuscript. (Maybe I need to turn that into a science fiction story!)
Jim, I just attended my sixty second year reunion a few weeks ago. As for your mother, I've already told my kids they'll have to drag me kicking, screaming and biting them if they tried to take me away from my home.
ReplyDeleteAs to my characters I almost don't have to think of what they have to say because like Warren says, they speak and act on their own which makes it a little easier for me.
Gloria, I wish you a long, healthy life and a quick sudden death. The problem when a parent can no longer take care of themselves is many children face. Fortunately for me, my mother recognizes she needs the help, so she accepts the change even though it is not her preference.
ReplyDelete