Tongue-in-cheek Essay on Clichés

As writers, we’ve all been told to avoid clichés like the plague. They are a dime a dozen. If you find yourself using clichés, drop them like a hot potato. Instead, use something that’s fresh as a daisy or sharp as a tack. To present an editor with a cliché is like waving a red cape at a bull. 

What is a cliché?

Originally, a cliché was a term used in printing plates cast from movable type. Letters were set individually, one at a time - so it made sense to cast the same phrase over and again as a single block of metal. That constantly repeated phrase was known as a cliché, or stereotype.

Now, cliché refers to an expression that has been overused to the extent that it loses its original meaning or novelty, and is viewed as stale as day-old bread.

The phrase, “has seen better days” has itself seen better days, and such phrases are themselves clichés. By this time, it’s water over the dam.

Some think of clichés as a kind of shortcut, infusing additional shades of meaning into a simple phrase. The argument could be made that clichés thus offer several blessings in disguise. Silver linings, so to speak. They are more likely, however, to end up sounding like the same old, same old. While we don’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater, we must leave no stone unturned in our quest for fresh prose. The clichés must go!

Here is a rhyming list of clichés from the beginning of the previous century:

As wet as a fish—as dry as a bone,
As live as a bird—as dead as a stone,

As plump as a partridge—as poor as a rat,
As strong as a horse—as weak as a cat,
As hard as a flint—as soft as a mole,
As white as a lily—as black as a coal,
As plain as a pikestaff—as rough as a bear,
As light as a drum—as free as the air,
As heavy as lead—as light as a feather,
As steady as time—uncertain as weather,
As hot as an oven—as cold as a frog,

As gay as a lark—as sick as a dog,
As slow as the tortoise—as swift as the wind,
As true as the Gospel—as false as mankind,
As thin as a herring—as fat as a pig,
As proud as a peacock—as blithe as a grig,
As savage as tigers—as mild as a dove,
As stiff as a poker—as limp as a glove,
As blind as a bat—as deaf as a post,
As cool as a cucumber—as warm as a toast,
As flat as a flounder—as round as a ball,
As blunt as a hammer—as sharp as an awl,
As red as a ferret—as safe as the stocks,
As bold as a thief—as sly as a fox,
As straight as an arrow—as crook'd as a bow,

As yellow as saffron—as black as a sloe,
As brittle as glass—as tough as gristle,
As neat as my nail—as clean as a whistle,
As good as a feast—as bad as a witch,
As light as is day—as dark as is pitch,
As brisk as a bee—as dull as an ass,
As full as a tick—as solid as brass."
(Pictorial Comedy: The Humorous Phases of Life Depicted by Eminent Artists, Vol. 17, 1907)

We still can't get away from them, and they seem to be as numerous as grains of sand on a beach.

And we’ve been told a billion times, don’t exaggerate.

Remember, actions speak louder than words. Better safe than sorry. We need to take one day at a time, and realize that writing is not everyone's cup of tea..