Thanksgiving is late this year. Most years, by now, we would have
passed Thanksgiving, turned the corner on Black Friday and probably be
celebrating what has come to be labeled Cyber Monday. So, while I am
normally opposed to most things Christmas until after Thanksgiving, I am
dropping that opposition this year to share with you my version of The Twelve
Days Pre-Christmas, to be read with the tune for the “The Twelve Days of
Christmas” in mind. And for those of you who know what an ear worm is,
you’re welcome.
THE
TWELVE DAYS PRE-CHRISTMAS
On the first day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me, “We
need to go shopping promptly.”
On the second day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me,
"Need to put the tree up, and
We need to go shopping promptly."
On the third day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me,
"Let’s have a party!
Need to get that tree up
And we need to go shopping promptly."
On the fourth day pre-Christmas, my child said to me,
“I need some presents!
You’ll have a party.
Why isn’t the tree up? and
You need to go shopping promptly!”
On the fifth day pre-Christmas, my wondering eyes did see – A SALE
AT MACY’S!
My child still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree still is not up
And I need to go shopping promptly!
On the sixth day pre-Christmas, my bad self said to me, “Eat a
chocolate Santa!”
There’s A SALE AT MACY’S!
My child still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree is still not up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
On the seventh day pre-Christmas, my conscience said to me, “No
more chocolate Santas!”
(I don’t care, I found one!)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
My child still needs presents,
The party’s Friday,
The tree is halfway up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
On the eighth day pre-Christmas, the school note said to me, “20
cupcakes in two days now!”
No more chocolate Santas!
(How about a Reese’s?)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
Child’s gifts now hidden
The party’s soon
The tree just got knocked down
And I need to go shopping promptly.
On the ninth day pre-Christmas my true love said to me, “Aren’t
you a little stressed dear?”
20 cupcakes by tomorrow,
NO MORE CHOCOLATE SANTAS!
(I don’t care, I’ll have one,)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
Child’s not found her gifts,
Party’s almost here,
The tree is standing up
And I need to go shopping promptly.
On the tenth day pre-Christmas, my oven said to me, “Why haven’t
you bought the turkey?”
I’m a little stressed now,
20 cupcakes by this evening,
(Shut up about the Santas! - I’m going to have two more now.)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’S!
Child’s gifts still in hiding,
The party’s now,
The tree is not yet lit
And I need to go shopping promptly.
On the eleventh day pre-Christmas, my true love said to me, “What
about the dressing?”
Where did I put the turkey?
I’m getting truly stressed now,
20 cupcakes from the grocers,
NO MORE CHOCOLATE SANTAS!
(I can’t hear you, Conscience.)
There’s a SALE AT MACY’s!
Child’s gifts locked up tight,
The party’s done,
The tree just blew a fuse
And I need to go shopping promptly!
On the day that Christmas got here, I woke up and did see –
A banquet for my family,
Turkey and dressing,
Even giblet gravy,
Stress has gone away now,
Stockings filled with care
(But no chocolate Santas)
NO SALE AT MACY’S!
Child loves her gifts,
No more parties now,
Tree is A-OK,
And I’m going to nap until New Years!
This is hysterical, Nancy, and now, I'm off to look for chocolate Santas - wait, peanut butter filled chocolate Santas. I'll share if I find them. Happy Thanksgiving, and Merry Christmas, too. It all comes right in the end, and what doesn't come right makes for great stories in following years.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
ReplyDeleteWe all need a touch of humor at this point in our holidays.
Christmas preps will have to hold off--we're on our way to my brother-in-law's tiny house in West Virginia for Thanksgiving. They expect about 30 people, including my frail 93-year-old mother-law from Cheyenne.
One year, I had all the presents bought before the season. The house was cleaned and decorated by the first week in December. I thought, this year will be my calm and serene Christmas, one to enjoy and not feel stressed. I was disappointed and bored by the time Christmas came and was also shocked. I was humbug. Never thought it would go that way. So, now I rush around, try not to be stressed, and know that's the way it is supposed to be!
ReplyDeleteKait: I love the peanut butter filled chocolate Santas, too, but it's just never quite seemed like Christmas without at least one chocolate Santa for the stockings. Fortunately, there are only three of us, and most of the ones I find are in packs of six, so there's always a little extra.
ReplyDeleteKM, your Thanksgiving get-together sounds wonderful and well-worth delaying Christmas preparations for!
E.B., I've never been organized enough to even try getting everything done that far in advance, so I admire you.
Nancy Eady
My kids outgrew chocolate Santas in their stockings in favor of European chocolate bars. Tis the season for a total basement cleanout AND new standard poodle puppy, Louie! I'll wing it otherwise...the meal menus don't change much from year to year.
ReplyDeleteEvery year I say I'm going to start early, and I rarely do. This year is even harder with Thanksgiving coming so late. Whatever, it will come whether I am prepared or not.
ReplyDeleteHave a very happy Thanksgiving and a joyful and happy Christmas.
Fun!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Thanks for a fun start to the week, Nancy. But now I’m craving chocolate and cupcakes. Farewell healthy diet until next year.
ReplyDelete