If you are interested in blogging or want to promote your book, please contact E. B. Davis at writerswhokill@gmail.com.

October Interviews
10/2 Debra H. Goldstein, Two Bites To Many
10/10 Connie Berry, A Legacy of Murder
10/17 Lida Sideris, Double Murder or Nothing
10/23 Toni L. P. Kelner writing as Leigh Perry, The Skeleton Stuffs A Stocking
10/30 Jennifer David Hesse, Autumn Alibi

Saturday Guest Bloggers:
10/5 Ang Pompano
10/12 Eyes of Texas Anthology Writers
10/19 Neil Plakcy

WWK Bloggers: 10/26 Kait Carson


Congratulations to our writers for the following publications:

Lyrical Press will publish Kaye George's Vintage Sweets mystery series. The first book, Revenge Is Sweet, will be released in March. Look for the interview here on 3/11.

Shari Randall will be writing again for St. Martin's, perhaps under a pseudonym. We look forward to reading Shari's Ice Cream Shop Mystery series debuting next year. Congratulations, Shari!

Susan Van Kirk's A Death At Tippett Pond was released on June 15th. Read E. B. Davis's interview with Susan.

KM Rockwood's "Frozen Daiquiris" appears in The Best Laid Plans: 21 Stories of Mystery & Suspense, edited by Judy Penz Sheluk. The anthology was released on June 18th.

Fishy Business anthology authors include KM Rockwood, Debra Goldstein, and James M. Jackson. This volume was edited by Linda Rodriguez.

Please read Margaret S. Hamilton and Debra Goldstein's short stories (don't ask about their modus operandi) in a new anthology, Cooked To Death Vol. IV: Cold Cut Files.

Warren Bull's Abraham Lincoln: Seldom Told Stories was released. It is available at: GoRead: https://www.goread.com/book/abraham-lincoln-seldom-told-stories or at Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/ydaklx8p

Grace Topping's mystery, Staging is Murder was released April 30.


Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Adulting by Carla Damron

Sometimes I really wish I was a functional adult. Here I am, 62 years old, still grappling with the question “when will I be a real grown-up?” In my twenties, I understood why I didn’t have my act together. I was still a kid, right? In my thirties, I did a bit of adulting: bought my first house (in a VERY questionable neighborhood). Took a stronger interest in my social work career and received a few promotions. Took up writing as a serious hobby.

When I reached my forties, I did two VERY adult things; I got married AND I PUBLISHED MY FIRST BOOK! One would think I almost had a clue, right? Not so much. My husband did his best to coax me into maturity, introducing me to foreign concepts like “joint checking” and “shared closet.” Of course, he continued to add to my Slinky collection so I’m not sure he was 100% invested in my growing up.

It gradually started to occur to me that my development seemed a bit stilted. I didn’t FEEL grown up. I mean, surely there would come a point when I would GET IT. I would know who I was and where I needed to put my focus. Other people my age had their act together. Why didn’t I?

In my fifties, I tried faking it.  I succeeded, too. My FOURTH novel got published. I did tons of speaking engagements for both professions: novelist and social worker. I like to think I actually sounded like I knew what I was talking about! Of course, I didn’t—not really. How could I when I wasn’t even a real adult yet?

I held on to a vague hope that it would happen one day: I would wake up and it would all be clear. THIS is who I am. THIS is why I am here.  I’d walk with more confidence and smile knowingly at my fellow real adults. I’d start wearing heels and carry a briefcase that didn’t look like a middle-schooler’s knapsack. I’d suddenly be skinny and never have a bad hair day. Everyone would look up to me and think, “Wow. She’s really got it together!”

But now I’m in my sixties and it ain’t happened yet. My husband and I are meeting with a financial planner who keeps tossing around words like "fixed index annuity" and “margins,” and I no longer even pretend I know what he’s talking about: “Dumb it down, Keith! Dumb it down!”

I’m accepting that I’ll never take that final step to adulthood. THIS is actually who I am: STILL NOT A GROWN-UP.  

My only option is to make the most of it. When you think about it, MANY writers are not good at adulting, and it’s what we write about: our struggles. All the ways we feel vulnerable and flawed. About what it’s like to be a poser around people who aren’t. (Are there people who aren’t?)

If I’m being honest, these are the writers I enjoy reading. I connect with their character’s pain and take vicarious pleasure when they succeed. And these are the characters I love to write. If I do it well, it’s because I’m right there with them. Their vulnerability is frighteningly close to my own, so I dive in to explore it with them.  Maybe in my journey with them, I’ll find my way to become a functional adult.

Then again, maybe I don’t want to be.

Where do you stand on the issue of adulting?


Jim Jackson said...

I think the difficulty with your self-assessment is the definition of "functioning adult." Others decide how well one is "functioning." We know our incompetencies and often dwell on them. Others see what we have accomplished and don't expect perfection. Perhaps it is that dichotomy that leads us to feel like we're faking it.

That said by the guy with a minor in psychology from nearly 50 years ago and exactly zero experience in counseling others, so take the comment with a bucketful of salt.

KM Rockwood said...

When we had a retirement party for my mother-in-law, she said her only real regret was that she still didn't know what she wanted to be when she grew up.

Margaret S. Hamilton said...

I've become invisible to anyone under 50. Little do they realize I'm eavesdropping, picking up little gems to use in my writing. And taking careful notes on clothes, make-up, tattoos and piercings.

carla said...

Jim, I've come to think functional is overrated. KM, your mo-in-law is me!
Margaret, dying to know about your tattoos...

Warren Bull said...

I am totally in favor of adulting. My wife and I know just who we want to adopt us to be the adult in the family.