“No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.” Aesop.
Did you know that Darwin believed
that kindness and care for others was the result of evolution? He’s often
associated with “survival of the fittest” but that is an over-simplistic view of his
work. He also considered how positive kindness is for humankind.
What We Know About Kindness
We know that kindness is
contagious. We are more likely to be kind to others after someone has been kind
to us. So the idea of setting off a wave of kindness by random acts of kindness
is more than a fuzzyheaded supposition.
We also know that acting on the impulse
when the impulse is to be kind encourages more kindness. The old idea of
breaking bread together has scientific validity since activities around a feast
lead to more togetherness. Awareness of natural phenomena or something else
awesome takes us out of ourselves and reminds us that a universe centered on a
single person is a tiny and restricted one.
It is not surprising that gentle touch
and kind words also give rise to kindness.
Authors Writing About Different
Subjects Include Kindness
Ta-Neshisi-Coates In Between the World and Me wrote to his
son about choosing kindness over fear. Carl Sagan in The Demon-Haunted World discussed responding to ignorance with compassion.
Anne Lamott described kindness and forgiveness as the basis of self-esteem in Hallelujah Anyway Rediscovering Mercy.
My Experiences
I was a clinical psychologist for
thirty years. I’m happy to say that when I meet former clients the word they
use most to describe what they experienced from me is kindness.
Twice I have received a bone marrow
transplant that reduced my immune system to that of a newborn child. I did not
have the strength to go to the bathroom. I had a catheter and an adult commode next
to the bed. I often lost track of time. Staying alive was a struggle. I was
never suicidal but I would not have minded dying. They were the two worst
periods of time in my life,
The few best memories I have of
those times are of kindness. For example, once in a cancer center a clerk
(non-medical staff) brought me a blanket when I was shivering, experiencing
uncontrolled diarrhea and feeling absolutely miserable. I’m sure delivering
blankets was not in her job description. I don’t know if she remembers the
event but I will never forget it.
I believe my wife had a tougher
time than I did. Her willingness to help me thorough weeks when I was nearly
helpless still amazes me. I am alive because of her, her devotion and her
kindness.
I used to keep buttons that struck my fancy, and one of them was a blue button with white type that said "try a little KINDNESS". According to a sermon I wrote in 2007 I received the button as part of an advertising campaign for a new Clairol product!
ReplyDeleteTo quote from that sermon: Mark Twain said that “kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” I am convinced that if we all tried a little kindness in everything we do we would not have to spend much time working for peace; we would be living in peace. Albert Schweitzer said “Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate.”
So, I thinnk you can rightly feel special that your former patients think of you as kind, Warren
excellent post W, many thanks for brightening my day! altho, it *is*, btw, kinda amusing to hear that there's a post re Kindness on a site called WritersWhoKILL, ain't it? (grin)
ReplyDelete...mebbbe they kill with kindness???
Abbey from DorothyL
What an excellent topic. I've heard recently that we don't see kindness like we used to. I'm not sure about that. I think we don't hear stories of kindness like we used to. I appreciate this post today. vb
ReplyDeleteBeautiful blog, Warren. I'm glad you had kind and caring people who took care of you.
ReplyDeleteThe other day at a my Sinc meeting, my friend Irma told a new member about my finding a body in the woods. The new member was amazed that I didn't totally freak out and wasn't traumatized by it. It wasn't that I was callous and uncaring, but that I've been with dying people. In my early 20s, I held my father-in-law's hand all afternoon as he was dying of cancer in the hospital. Years later after teaching all day, I'd go down to my mother-in-law's and be with her as she was dying of cancer. I was with my brother when he died, too. He wasn't conscious, but I've heard he could still hear. My sister-in-law and his two daughters sang to him off and on all afternoon and evening. I was with my father earlier on his last day, and with my mother, too, a year later.
As others on this blog know, my eighteen year old son died of cancer in my arms. I don't think that is anything to do with my kindness for others. I deliver Mobile Meals, and in spite of an early recommendation that I don't spend time talking with them, I do. I think
having someone spend time talking and listening to them is as important as the meals they
get. I try to always be kind to others and appreciate the ones who helped me through my grieving time after my son's death. You'd be surprised how many avoided me because they didn't know what to say. No, I'm not callous and uncaring. I read the obituary of a young person, and I tear up. A character in a book dies, I get teary eyed, too. I even sometimes tear up when I murder someone in my books.
Good thoughts, especially in a time in which kindness seems in short supply. Each of us can help replenish the supply.
ReplyDeleteThere are many good people in this world who will lend a helping hand. Glad you have been a recipient.
ReplyDeleteKindness, courtesy, sometimes just a smile. They are just so easy to do, cost so little, take such trivial effort to extend to those we encounter day in and day out. And better yet, it carries its own reward. In his series on Catholicism, Fr. Robert Barron made an intriguing point: if you're feeling lousy, miserable, unhappy, then make a batch of cookies and give them away to strangers. You'll feel better instantly.
ReplyDeleteLovely and moving post. Kindness can fix a whole lot of ills. We need more.
ReplyDeleteKindness, strength, perseverance and gratitude.
ReplyDeleteWarren, you sum up a few of the most important things in life.
I remember those times when people have been kind to me. The memories still bring tears to my eyes.
ReplyDelete