This tragic scene immediately segued into an image of singer Shakira dressed in a skimpy belly dancing outfit gyrating to upbeat music in a fantasy forest. (Presumably, the probiotics in yogurt kept her “regular” and, therefore, joyful.) Dumbfounded, I struggled to keep up with the abrupt change of topic and emotion.
Also, Hill strongly advises against changing the point-of-view (POV) in the middle of a scene. She wrote that it’s confusing and could cause the reader to lose the connection with the viewpoint character. I remember reading a romance novel that switched from Jack’s POV to Sue’s in the middle of a love-making scene without the benefit of a transition. That was jarring! In my mind, Jack was caressing Sue’s face and toying with her rough, scruffy beard. It threw me for a loop and right out of the story.