Saturday, February 1, 2020

New Year, New Inspiration, New Murder by Valerie Burns


I’m not sure what it is about the start of a new year that makes me feel like I can conquer the impossible. Every January I feel inspired. Nothing is too hard. In January I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can give up junk food, drink 64 ounces of water every day and eliminate processed sugars from my diet. I can write 5,000 words per day, keep my sock drawer clean (and find every sock’s mate) and in my spare time, balance my checkbook. I am woman. Hear me roar.
This feeling of euphoria and power typically lasts about a week, two weeks max. This year, by January 10th I wasn’t even sure I knew where my sock drawer was. I made it without coffee for the thirty-five minutes it took for me to drive from my house to my office (don’t judge, after 35 minutes on I-75 I was lucky I didn’t stop at the liquor store). As for eliminating processed sugars…my coworkers bought donuts and cookies and pushed them in front of me at the start of my 8:00am meeting (lack of sugar might have made me a bit…testy). I haven’t exercised. There’s water in coffee (it counts). I can’t find my checkbook, so I can’t be expected to balance it. And, let’s not talk about my daily word count. However, despite my annual fall off the precipice of hope, I still feel excited and inspired for 2020.
A new year brings new experiences, and those experiences translate into ideas for stories. People often ask where I get the ideas for my books. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I find inspiration everywhere. So, what inspiration have I found in 2020? Christmas tree bags.
I recently went in search of a bag to store my artificial Christmas tree. I have never used a Christmas Tree bag before. I’ve moved a lot over the years, and I’ve learned to keep boxes for large items. However, I found this Christmas Tree box to be bulky and unwieldy. I also wanted something that would be easy to transport, and now that I don’t have a basement (it’s a Southern thing), I didn’t like the idea of putting my Christmas Tree in the garage where bugs and insects could get to it (I hate insects). My search led me to a bag that can hold a 9.5 ft tree (disassembled), has wheels, reinforced handles, a pocket for…well, whatever you need to put in it. Plus, it's waterproof and protects from dust, moisture and insects. Winner, winner chicken dinner.
I will admit that my 7.5 ft tree took a bit of finagling (no skinny anorexic trees in my house), but I managed to shove it inside. As I rolled it down the hall and into a closet, I couldn’t help but wonder, if this miracle bag of science could hold a body. Unfortunately, the packaging material didn’t include weight limits. My sister discouraged me from writing the manufacturer to ask (honestly, I’m pretty sure any big brother watch dog organization already has me on their list due to my browser search history), but I agreed that it could cause more problems than it was worth. However, if you see a Christmas Tree Bag in a future V.M. Burns mystery, remember you read it here first.
V.M. (Valerie) Burns was born in northwestern Indiana and spent many years in Southwestern Michigan on the Lake Michigan shoreline. She is a lover of dogs, British historic cozies, and scones with clotted cream. After many years in the Midwest, she went in search of milder winters and currently lives in Eastern Tennessee with her poodles. Her debut novel, The Plot is Murder, was nominated for a 2017 Agatha Award for Best First Novel. Valerie is a member of Mystery Writers of America, Dog Writers of America, Crime Writers of Color, International Thriller Writers, and Sisters in Crime. Readers can learn more by visiting her website at vmburns.com.

4 comments:

  1. LOL - I'll be looking for the Christmas Tree bag - sounds like a wonderful plot point. I bet the company wouldn't bat an eye if you asked them for weight guidelines - after all, some trees are heavier than others, right!

    Began reading THE PLOT IS MURDER last night. Loving it and I want to adopt Nana Jo, or at least have her visit.

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  2. You didn't try it out? I carefully hosed out a rolling garbage cart and climbed inside, experimenting with the best position to dump a body.

    Happy New Year! Louie the standard poodle puppy is a terror and a delight. This week he snatched my readers off the table and chewed them to bits.

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  3. I'll be watching for the body stored in the Christmas tree bag. Sounds like a great idea.

    Hope 2020 is a great year for you and your ambitious writing schedule.

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  4. You did pretty good, Valerie, handling that all by yourself. I can't imagine having a closet big enough for it. My daughter and I once went looking for a live tree. We waited very late, so there weren't many trees on the lot. When we got home, we discovered it was huge--the biggest tree we ever had. Since there weren't many trees left on the lot, we didn't have others to compare it too. We ended up leaving a mark on the ceiling trying to get it indoors, and it had to go in front of the stairwell so the top could poke out above ceiling height. As you walked into the house, you couldn't see the angel on top because it was in the stairwell. It is a tree we'll never forget.

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