by Kaye George
As writers, and as readers, we know how important beginnings
are. The first line, the first paragraph, the first page—that’s what determines
whether or not the reader decides to invest more precious time in your story or
not. I’m going to deal with short stories today.
I have some first lines I’m proud of. And some that work
okay. I’ll put some of mine out there. Feel free to rip me up—I mean rip my
WORK up, not me. (Although it does feel that way, right, writers?) Also feel
free to tell me some of yours that work, or some famous ones you love.
“Grist for the Mill” (have to say this, my Agatha nominated
story) in A MURDER OF CROWS:
Kevin Grady couldn’t wait to get outside.
***I hope I’ve made the reader wonder why he wants to go
outside and can’t wait.
You know, I like the first line of the second paragraph
better:
When he choked on it, he stopped and looked around, spitting
out the foul taste he had inhaled.
***Now you have to wonder what he’s choking on. Much more
important.
“The Darkest Hour” in DAY OF THE DARK, 2017
I think it was on a Saturday afternoon when Tom got the
bright idea to rent out our spare room for the eclipse. I wish I’d just killed
him then.
***Two sentences, but I have to use both of them to entice
you into the story.
“Dream Girl” in BOULD Anthology, 2019
She stretched with delight. What a
great dream that had been!
***Of course, here, I want you to
wonder what the dream was. That’s revealed over the course of the story, which
I hope confuses the heck out of the reader.
“The Bible Belt Buckle Killer” in Suspense Magazine, Fall of 2018:
Isabel Musik dropped her Bloody Mary when she heard the
scream.
***This is my second Isabel Musik
story. She’s a “reformed” vampire, so it’s fitting she’s drinking a Bloody
Mary.
I’ll put a few more of mine out
here, then step aside and let you post yours.
“The Truck Contest, Fish Tales”
(the first Guppy anthology):
The
first time I saw it I assumed it was an accident.
“Levittown Louie,” Mysterical-E, Spring 2007
First
off, Kimber's entrance to the Ground Hog Day Ball was disastrous.
“Handbaskets,
Drawers, and a Killer Cold,” Crooked,
January 2009:
“If your brother screws up once more…” Cal Arnold’s tirade
skittered to a stop at the expression on his wife’s face.
“Snatched Potatoes,” Kings River Life, June 2014, also in
Black Cat Thrillogy #11 from Wildside:
“Be
sure you gouge out the eyes, Imogene.”
A
SHOUTOUT TO MY FELLOW SHORT STORY AGATHA NOMINEES:
Barb
Goffman, Cynthia Kuhn, Shawn Reilly Simmons, and Art Taylor
Your
turn!
You can find links to
these on my short story page, some for purchase, some to read:
hourglass photo by lisaleo at morguefile.com
"Lizzie, I need a quick word."
ReplyDelete"Busted at the Book Sale," an upcoming Kings River Life short story podcast
Wonderful first lines, Kaye. As I've discovered, first lines, first paragraphs, first pages are hard. I noticed that some of your first lines start with dialogue. I like that. It takes the reader immediately into the story. I started both of my books with dialogue. "You work for that woman and you'll end up killing each other." Staging is Murder. "There's a body in Hendricks Funeral Home." Staging Wars.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great blog. Short stories are hard, so few words, so much to convey. You are a master at it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sample, Margaret! Grace, I agree, they ARE hard. In looking through my own stories, I found a lot that could probably have been improved. Thanks, Kait!!!
ReplyDeleteMy most recent short, "Wisest, Swiftest, Kindest," begins with a line of dialogue: "You're too mired in the past." It's said by a soon to be ex-boyfriend to his English grad student girlfriend who is about to time travel to meet her literary heroes.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I agree with Kait. Kaye, you are a master at first lines for shorts. Doesn't it feel great when you find the perfect one?
ReplyDeleteYes, my dear. You are a master at short stories. Just read the one from A MURDER OF CROWS. Very worthy of being an Agatha nominee.
ReplyDeletePaula, that's perfect! It conveys the whole theme of the story and also leads the reader in. It does feel good, Paula, but it doesn't always happen, I'm sure you know. Thanks, Marilyn! I will now dismiss the meeting of the KG admiration committee. (Love you guys!)
ReplyDelete"The gun was heavy in my pocket."
ReplyDeleteLiquor Store Holdup
by KM Rockwood
First appeared in Jack Hardway’s Crime Magazine, v. 2 # 2, March/April 2015
Love it, KM!
ReplyDeleteGreat first lines!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Carla!
ReplyDeleteMany years ago when I subbed, I'd give the class an opening line to start them writing. My favorite was:
ReplyDelete"Mary stared down the cellar stairs and screamed."
Please excuse the typo in my comment above. It should have read: "You are a master of short stories." Not "at short stories."
Poor Mary--that's a good one! Of, at, I thank you very much either way!
ReplyDelete