Taming Self-doubt by Warren Bull

image from pixabay

Doubter number one:Dame Judith Dench, winner of an Academy Award,six British Academy Film Awards, four BAFTA TV Awards, seven Olivier Awards, two Screen Actors Guild Awards, two Golden Globe Awards, and a Tony Award, said that after she finishes an acting project she always worries that she will not be offered another role.

How can you counter self-doubt?

Recognize and challenge those inner critical voices.  You weren’t born doubting. Those voices are not the authentic you. They like to hide and sneak up on you when you are vulnerable. Tell them, “Oh, it’s you again. I know you and your lies.” Remind them, and yourself, of times when you’ve overcome tough circumstances. They will fade.

Beware of outside voices that tell you failure is on the way. Whether these people are misguidedly trying to keep you from getting hurt, projecting their fears onto you or just jealous that your success might challenge them to do better, they are not people you want to rely on. Doubts are contagious. Fortunately, confidence is equally contagious. You can find positive, successful people to hang out with.

Doubter number two: George Washington, before his inauguration, wrote to Supreme Court Chief Justice John Rutledge: “I greatly apprehend that my countrymen will expect too much from me. I fear, if the issue of public measures should not correspond with their sanguine expectations, they will turn the extravagant praises which they are heaping upon me at this moment into equally extravagant censures.”

More strategies to turn down the volume of critical inner voices:

Be kind to yourself. So many of us find it easier to be compassionate toward others than to ourselves. Imagine that someone else was in the situation you are criticizing yourself for. Would you be harsh toward that person? No. Then apply the same standards to you. When did you sign a contract that obligates you to being perfect?

Redefine failure

Failure is proof that we are actively pursuing something; not sitting around waiting passively for something to come to us. Failure provides feedback of what did not work and what did. Most likely what happened was a partial success. We can hang onto what worked and change what did not work. Some seeming failures are actually unexpected successes. Post-in notes came from repurposing an adhesive that did not hold nearly as well as intended. 

Doubter number three: Leonardo Da Vinci, also struggled with self-doubt. Known for the "Mona Lisa" and "The Last Supper," and other magnificent works of art,  Da Vinci was known during his lifetime for dithering and even abandoning projects. A line from one of his diaries read: "Tell me if I ever did a thing."

Ask. The truth will set you free…of crippling doubt

Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Realistically would failure begin a nuclear winter? Would you be blackballed from all further contact with another human being? If not, then it would be disappointing and possibly embarrassing. Yeah and so what? The image in your mind is much worse than the reality. 

Ask yourself, “What’s the best that could happen?” Keep your eyes on the prize. Focus on the goal and the little successes that will get you to the goal.

As the three doubting people mentioned above prove, self-doubt is very common. It does not predict failure. The only failure is not acting and even that failure is only temporary. The first step, through fear and doubt, however tiny, is a success. Fear and doubt will diminish. More success awaits.