Monday, April 4, 2016

Things I’ve Learned Along the Way

by Linda Rodriguez



I’ve been around for a lot more than a few years. And, stubborn as I can be, I’ve learned some things along the way. Oddly enough, it’s not the big lessons that have made a difference in my life, but a series of small rules for happy living that I’ve learned to make a part of my daily life.


1.       Do at least one thing a day that gives you pleasure.

2.       Live your life in chapters. Focus on the chapter you’re in now. You don’t have to do/have/be it all now!

3.       Don’t get overwhelmed. Break everything into baby steps. One page a day is a book in a year. Fifteen minutes a day on any overwhelming or distasteful task adds up and eventually will lengthen on its own. The ordinary kitchen timer is your friend.

4.       Always clean up your messes.

5.       Be kind to yourself and others.

6.       Give something back.

7.       Use it, appreciate it, or lose it. Your body, mind, belongings. Remember, unapplied knowledge is wasteful (f not tragic).

8.       Make time to do often what you do well and enjoy. Spend time with people who think you’re great. 

When the world isn’t noticing you, notice and reward yourself. Give others recognition, in turn.

9.       Make quiet time for yourself alone every day. And a corollary is have a place, even merely a spot, that’s just for you. Use it for devotions, meditation, journaling, or just reading. Give yourself 10 minutes of silence every day.

10.   Pay attention to your breath. Conscious breath control can help you control stress, worry, and fear and replace them with calm and peace.

11.   As my Cherokee grandmother taught me, you create the path you’ll walk on in life with your words. Think before you speak. Remind yourself that, to a great extent, you are creating your reality when you speak.

12.   Pay attention to your own emotional needs and desires.

13.   Decide what you want your life to look like. Write it down. In detail.

14.   Act “as if.” Imagine if your desired life were here now, if you could not fail. What would you do? Do it.

15.   Conserve your energy. Rid your life of energy thieves—negative people and habits.

What about you? What rules would you add to my list?

Linda Rodriguez’s third Skeet Bannion novel, Every Hidden Fear, was a selection of the Las Comadres National Latino Book Club and a Latina Book Club Best Book for 2014. Her second Skeet mystery, Every Broken Trust, was a selection of Las Comadres National Latino Book Club, International Latino Book Award, and a finalist for the Premio Aztlan Literary Prize. Her first Skeet novel, Every Last Secret, won the St. Martin’s/Malice Domestic Best First Traditional Mystery Novel Competition and an International Latino Book Award. Her short story, “The Good Neighbor,” has been optioned for film. Find her on Twitter as @rodriguez_linda, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LindaRodriguezWrites, and on her blog http://lindarodriguezwrites.blogspot.com.

10 comments:

  1. These are words to live by. Thanks, Linda

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  2. Do you have this in the framed version? It is WONDERFUL. I especially like the comment about acting "as if." That coupled with giving back are so important. One gives us courage, the other humility.

    My words to live by came to me from a bookmark when I was a small child. It was my first ever bookmark so it must have been from around the time I got my library card. The saying read, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I have no idea how or why I ended up with it. If it was a gift, or if I liked the lovely yellow color, but it did prove a mantra for my life, and I'm grateful.

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  3. Thank you, Linda, for reminding us (who have lived for a while) of what we have learned along the way. It's a shame that experience can't be inherited. The young read your words. They may even understand them. But experience proves them.

    Here are words I read recently, which I love. Perhaps I, too, am getting old.

    >>«I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.
    I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.»<<
    — Meryl Streep.

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  4. Great info. I wish I did a better job of living by that advice.

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  5. So much wisdom here, Linda. Earned wisdom.
    As a military wife, I've always held onto the words of a greeting card my mom sent me: "Bloom where you're planted." Life takes us on unexpected paths, but we can hold on to that which makes us whole. Love, passions, the things that are truly important, are portable because they are within us.

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  6. words to live by, words to write by.

    Yesterday I spent an hour in the yard with the dogs, picking up sticks after a violent windstorm. The air was brisk, the sun shining, the robins busy with their first clutch in a spruce tree. All was right with the world.

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  7. Wonderful words of wisdom, Linda. I only wish I could totally live by them, but #3 - don't get overwhelmed is a constant problem with me. So much to do and so little time to do it. #4 goes along with that - clean up your messes. My junk mail and other things are what overwhelm me at times.

    My advice is don't worry about what others think of you. It's not important. Now if I could
    only embrace that when I'm expecting my two book clubs for lunch or dinner and not worry about the condition my house is in, or when I'm having Christmas dinner or some other event here,
    like a family reunion in the summer. I freak out not only on the condition of my house, but my numerous gardens, too.

    My peaceful quiet time is my morning walk in the woods in all the seasons, except when the weather is extremely bad. A dog for a companion is an added pleasure, too.

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  8. A great list to live by.

    I'd add, Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally.

    The biggest positive change in my life occurred when I discovered that I had been living my entire life with a serious congenital heart defect that limited the amount of oxygen that got to my body (brain included.) Since I got a patch put in my heart (I still need a new valve) I been able to do so much more than I ever did before, and I no longer get confused and frantic if I stand too long or am stressed. I've been working on quieting the voices that run through my head, saying "just lazy" and "totally irrational."

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  9. Oh, KM, so sad, those voices. I'm so glad you got properly diagnosed finally.

    Everyone, thank you for the lovely conversation. I'm sorry I was a no-show, but I'm out of town at a big convention and about to get on a plane home. You're all wonderful!

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