But
evil lurks in my paradise—bugs. Some with faces only their mothers could love.
My
first spring living in the D.C. area (2004) I was warned about the approaching
17 year cicada invasion. I didn’t understand all the fuss about singing bugs. How
bad could it get? So naïve.
First,
they crawled out of the ground, dark bodies with glowing red eyes that looked
like they had been residing in one of Dante’s levels of hell. Then they swarmed
on trees, shed their skin, gained wings and flew everywhere. They began
emitting otherworldly, pulsating noises that sounded like the Mother Ship was
hovering nearby. Not long after, they died—sometimes in mid-flight. One landed
in my omelet while I was eating brunch on the patio.
I’ve
already begun this year’s spring insect dance. One morning while writing, I
glimpsed a dark object on the floor skittle by my shoe, antennae waving, clearly
taunting me. I jumped out of my chair and ran after the multi-legged creature
trying to stomp on it. The bug zigged, I zagged and a dance to an imaginary
tune of The Hokey Pokey commenced. Put your right foot in, take your right foot
out…
I sat down to continue writing but spotted a spider hanging off a door.
The phantom itching began. Was it poisonous? I searched online for an answer and
instead found websites devoted to bugs
(and animals) named after celebrities.
Yep,
celebrities. No joke. Apparently scientists are given free rein with names as long as they abide by guidelines set by the
International Code of Zoological Nomenclature.
Some
names made me smile:
Preseucoila imallshookupis – A species of gall wasp named after Elvis Presley and
his hit song "All Shook Up".
Villa manillae Evenhuis – This bee fly’s
name was perhaps inspired by the lip syncing duo Milli Vanilli.
Aptostichus barackobamai Bond – A trapdoor
spider named after President Obama because he is a fan of Spiderman comics.
Entomologists named three wasp species Polemistus chewbacca, Polemistus vaderi, and Polemistus yoda after their
favorite Star Wars characters:
Chewbacca, Darth Vader, and Yoda.
Scaptia (Plinthina) beyonceae – A horsefly with a glamorous golden behind named after singer Beyoncé.
Aptostichus stephencolberti – A trapdoor spider named after comedian, Stephen Colbert. However, Colbert asked if they could name something cooler than a spider after him. They complied and named a beetle (way cooler than a spider), Agaporomorphus colberti, in his honor.
Euglossa bazinga
is a bee species found in Brazil. It was named after the catchphrase, “bazinga,” used by
television character Dr. Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory.
Fun names, but something bugs me. I saw few insects or animals named after authors. And, unless I overlooked a section, I don’t recall seeing any mystery writers on the list. How about naming an inquisitive animal or bug in honor of Agatha Christie, Dorothy L. Sayers, or Dashiell Hammett?
Fun names, but something bugs me. I saw few insects or animals named after authors. And, unless I overlooked a section, I don’t recall seeing any mystery writers on the list. How about naming an inquisitive animal or bug in honor of Agatha Christie, Dorothy L. Sayers, or Dashiell Hammett?
Do you have a bug horror story?
Does anyone recognize the spider in my photo? Should I be
concerned?
In North Carolina I heard the term "Palmetto bug."
ReplyDeleteWhen I actually encountered the critter I noticed it had a remarkable resemblance to a northern roach, but it was much bigger.
Palmetto bugs sound rather creepy, Warren. Maybe I'm better off with my unidentified spider.
ReplyDeleteMy spider field guide is up north, so I can’t help you on that, but I think of spiders by the door as guardians of the threshold. They capture all the little creepy-crawly critters, so I let them be (and occasionally clean up the spider web, making sure not to harm the spider).
ReplyDelete~ Jim
I'm actually rather fascinated by insects and arachnids, and no I don't recognize that spider. All spiders have poison in their fangs, it's how they paralyze their prey, but very few cause serious harm to people. The two are the black widow and the brown recluse, and that is almost never fatal. Interesting fact; the spider's poison turns the insect's insides to liquid and then the spider sucks it out.
ReplyDeleteAs for insects, I hate Japanese beetles, flies, gnats and mosquitoes. I'm also not happy about ants in the house or building nests in my flower gardens.
Jim, what a kind way of thinking about spiders by a door. I like the phrase "guardians of the threshold." Very nice.
ReplyDeleteNot crazy about bugs to be honest, except for decorative ones, like butterflies. I've made peace with the gigantic garden spiders (that's what I call them, not sure what the real name is) that make webs right near my front door. I tell myself that they're catching bugs before they get inside my house, instead of what they're probably really doing - plotting to catch me in one of their overachieving webs!
ReplyDeleteGloria, I'm not fascinated by bugs, but I have a healthy respect for them. A few years ago, my sister was stung by a scorpion which she told me was very painful. And last week after my mother-in-law finished gardening she noticed a lump behind her ear. Half of her face became swollen and red and she got sick. The doctors were stumped and thought perhaps something bit her. After a few days of intravenous antibiotics and other medicine, she's better.
ReplyDeleteI'm still trying to determine if mosquitos have any useful purpose other than annoying people and animals.
Shari, opening the front door and walking into a spider web isn't a nice way to start the day. I like your thought that spiders are plotting to catch humans with their large webs. An idea for a spooky short story?
ReplyDeleteI've seen a few brown recluse spider bites, and they are nasty. They hide in dark places where people can't see them, like shoes, and bite when someone puts their foot in. Before indoor plumbing (or if you're in a campground with outhouses) they can hide under the seat and give some truly nasty bites in very sensitive places.
ReplyDeleteI would vote for stinkbugs as my least favorite bug right now. They damage the fruit crops, which are big business around here, and they get into absolutely everywhere, no matter how well you think you have things sealed.
KM, I've heard that stinkbugs are incredibly destructive and that nobody knows how to control them. I can only imagine how much money growers have lost trying to save their fruit crops. So far, I've only seen a few in my area.
ReplyDeleteCrazy ants are another invasive species that I think will be costly and difficult to control.
A good insect is a dead insect. I hate reptiles, too.
ReplyDeleteOh, and rodents, too!
ReplyDeleteE.B., your comments reminded me of the lyrics in that old song by Jim Stafford--"I don't like spiders and snakes and that ain't what it takes to love me..."
ReplyDeleteYou got to trust, Jim Stafford, Kara! ;>)
ReplyDeleteHa! The Beyonce one cracks me up! I have several horror stories about the giant cockroaches we encountered in owning a 1926 Key West-style house in West Palm Beach, Fla. Honestly, I don't want to give you all nightmares, but it was sometimes "The Metamorphosis" come to life.
ReplyDeleteThe bug named after Beyoncé made me laugh, too, Sarah. Who knew entomologists had such a sense of humor?
ReplyDeleteYour experience with cockroaches sounds horrible. It gives me chills just thinking about it and I haven't even heard the whole story.
Kara, that spider is from a distant galaxy. It was put there to record your comings and goings. It will leave you alone once the spaceship returns.
ReplyDeleteI've long suspected that spiders are part of an unearthly diabolical plot, Carla.
ReplyDelete