Enjoying The Holidays

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I’ve been told that I’m an intense person. The dictionary tells me that “intense” means existing in the extreme. I don’t like extreme. Words describing “intense” are: vehement, strong, keenness, severity, strenuous and diligence. Some of these words I find to be positive attributes, and yet I can’t or would rather not describe myself as extreme. I’ve found extreme people to be inconsistent, bouncing from one position to its polar opposite, which I find superficial and hypocritical. Take my neighbor…please.

 She was a “born-again-Christian,” (a phrase I’ve translated into “Super-Christian,” all sarcasm intended) who confessed rather proudly that she had “spent her youth wacked-out on drugs and then got pregnant.” The “Lord” raised her children and kept them save. When her kids ran out on the street and drove their bikes nilly-willy through traffic while she talked on the phone, the rest of us neighborhood moms were nervous wrecks. I had no respect for her. She was extreme, but she wasn’t intense—in fact she was down-right relaxed—or maybe just lax. When she moved, we all heaved a sigh of relief, but we still feared for her children.

What I don’t know is: Can you be intense without being extreme? Is intense a bad characteristic?

I’m not sure how anyone can write murder mystery without intensity. To write through a main character’s perspective, a writer must feel what the character feels. By their very nature, murder mysteries and their characters are intense. Who normally stumbles upon dead bodies? Who would pursue killers? Who would put themselves in danger? I can see no other way to create suspense without writing in an intense frame of mind.

But lately, I’ve noticed that my shoulders are hiked and my jaw is locked. Relaxation doesn’t come easily. Have I drunk too much coffee? Am I too enmeshed in my characters? Have I taken my craft too seriously? I’m always striving to get to the next level, to better my writing as if in competition with myself. I’m not competitive by nature, but who wouldn’t want to improve themselves and their craft? The problem is that I feel as if my craft is actually slipping—not improving—making me wonder if intensity can easily turn into stress, which is counterproductive to the process.

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This is my last blog until the New Year since we will be presenting new holiday short stories weekly by most of the writers contributing to Writers Who Kill, starting on November 26^th. I’m revising my short story now because I’m dissatisfied with it. Taking time off from writing may serve me better than trying to write with the added stress of the holidays. Stress kills creativity, and if my work is evidence, I’m already stressed.

People in other occupations take time off from their jobs. You can, too. Unless you have a deadline or your muse makes demands, don’t think about your characters or the problems you’ve created for them. Take time off to enjoy the holidays.