HOW I GET COMFORTABLE OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

 by Korina Moss

Out of my comfort zone:
Giving my Agatha Award acceptance speech
in front of hundreds of people

Remember when “comfort zone” became a buzz word and we were constantly encouraged to step out of it? Those self-help gurus were relentless, but I wasn’t buying it. What’s wrong with being comfortable? It’s a synonym of cozy, and as the writer of the Cheese Shop Mystery series, we all know how I feel about the word cozy. Thus, I’ve never been a fan of stepping out of my comfort zone, however life has been consistently kicking me out of it over the last several years. Becoming a published author is like immersion therapy for discomfort. I’m left with no choice but to lean into it, whether it’s doing podcast interviews, speaking at events, mentoring writers, or sharing recipes. Yes, I said sharing recipes. 

I may have to dig into my copy of
Betty Crocker's New
Boys and Girls Cookbook

I’ve always been a passable cook, but it’s never been something I cared to take too much time doing. I’m a food enthusiast, but I’m happy to let someone else do the cooking. Now that I’m single and my son is away at college, I only cook for myself—which is to say, I don’t cook. I throw things together. I am the queen of the one-bowl meal. I used to bake often and well, but again, as a household of one, baking is a roundly dangerous prospect. So, when I was recently invited to become a member of the wonderful blog, Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen, my first thought was uh-oh. The twelve members are fantastic culinary cozy authors who share recipes they cook themselves, which include photos and step-by-step instructions. Obviously, you gotta cook. I was honored to be considered to join their group and I wasn’t about to pass that up. I mean, have you seen the Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen authors? Leslie Budewitz, Maddie Day, Meg Cochran, Leslie Karst, Libby Klein, Lucy Burdette, Maya Corrigan, V.M. Burns, Vicki Delany, Cleo Coyle, and our own Writers Who Kill member, Molly MacRae.  

After my initial panic, I did what I always do when life kicks me out of my comfort zone. First, I find something that makes me feel even a little bit qualified to do this uncomfortable thing. The only way to break down fear is to hit it with logic. Ok, so what are my qualifications for this? I, too, am a culinary cozy author. I’ve learned a great deal about cheese while doing research for my Cheese Shop mysteries, and cheesy recipes are included in my books. I love watching cooking shows and cooking and baking competition shows. In fact, Loretta, the flamboyant betta fish in my series, is a big fan of Food Network’s Chopped. 

After making myself feel slightly more comfortable with my qualifications, the next step is to ask what I can bring to this experience that will highlight my strengths. It’s a reminder that I don’t have to be just like everyone else, which takes most of the pressure off. What can I bring to the blog? Surely, some Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen readers are single, like me, so perhaps simpler recipes-for-one are something they’d like to see more of. Another strength? Cheese, which—let’s face it—is practically a superpower. 

My superpower

The last step is to think about the purpose of the experience. Why do people read Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen? Because of their shared love and appreciation of food. Do I share that purpose too? Absolutely. I admitted in my extended author bio that I've been on my own Eat, Pray, Love journey, however I seem to have stalled at the Eat phase. 

After doing these three exercises, I usually find I’m not as far out of my comfort zone as I thought. And invariably, once I actually do this new thing, it becomes not only more comfortable, but enjoyable. Whether it involves becoming a better public speaker, gaining practical experience, or allowing myself to be more present in a daily activity like cooking, it also turns into a growth opportunity. I will probably always feel discomfort at facing new experiences, but I can comfortably say the rewards are worth it. 

Readers: Have you had experiences venturing out of your comfort zone? How do you handle it?

The delicious croque monsieur 
from Cheddar Off Dead

My first post for Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen is Monday, March 11th, where I’ll be making a recipe from my first Cheese Shop Mystery, Cheddar Off Dead—a croque monsieur sandwich that’s easier to make than to pronounce!

KORINA MOSS is the author of the Cheese Shop Mystery series (St. Martin’s Press) set in the Sonoma Valley, including the Agatha Award winner for Best First Novel, CHEDDAR OFF DEAD, and the most recently Agatha-nominated Best Contemporary Novel, CASE OF THE BLEUS. Her books have been featured in PARADE Magazine, Woman’s World, AARP, and Fresh Fiction. To learn more, visit her website korinamossauthor.com. 

Taking a Mental Health Day

Taking a Mental Health Day by Debra H. Goldstein

I’m tired. I’ve spent the last few months writing blogs, giving interviews, doing podcasts, and talking to anyone who will listen about my new Kensington cozy, One Taste Too Many. The book launched and I’ve been thrilled and grateful for the response people have had to One Taste Too Many, but I’m tired.

Everyone tells me it’s a good tired, but my body and brain don’t quite agree. Well, my brain partially does, but even it’s telling me it is time for one of my personal insanity or mental health days.

For me an insanity or mental health day is very simple – I may or may not get out of bed; I may or may not get dressed; I usually write checks and pay bills because I find that to be mindless and relaxing; the TV will be turned on and off as the day progresses, but only by using a remote control; I’ll catch up on the magazines piled on my dresser or immerse myself in a book I’ve been meaning to

read; I always do a load or two of laundry because I associate doing laundry during daylight hours as being a treat; and, I’ll probably make a meal of either pizza or ice cream or splurge and have both. What I won’t do during one of these days is anything that resembles work or requires me to think about a work-related activity.

That means, I won’t write. I won’t think about what project I might want to take on next. I won’t worry about the fact I still can’t work Photoshop Elements well enough to update my website. I won’t fret about numbers, due dates, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or anything on my to-do list as President of the Guppy Chapter of Sisters in Crime or the Southeast Chapter of Mystery Writers of America.

An insanity or mental health day belongs to me. Throughout my life, I’ve learned to be selfish about my “insanity day,” because if I fail to adhere to its rules, my batteries won’t recharge, and I’ll continue running like a rat in a maze without ever reaching the cheese. When I take one of these days, I wonder why I didn’t do it sooner or why I don’t do it more often – but, I know my answer to that: too much to do and too little time to do it.

What about you? Do you ever take an insanity or mental health day? Do you wait too long? What do you do to recharge yourself?