My daughter is now 20, and while we deal with the issues parents and children handle at that age, sometimes it’s amusing to look back at the problems of yesteryear. So, just like a good book might, let me transport you back in time 11 years, to when my daughter was 9 and I had a list of rules I never expected to need.
1. Do not cut the screen out of its frame in the window to pick roses indoors. (The need for this one arose when she was 6. In later years, she would cut the screen out of its frame to sneak out at night. THAT was a whole different level of problem.)
2. Do not try to pierce your ears with the end of a paper clip, even if it looks like an earring hole is there. (Age 6 and 7).
3. The controls on the dashboard in the car, including the radio, are MINE! Please leave them alone. (This battle still goes on today at age 20.)
4. Do not drag the dog into the bathtub with you. (Age 6)
5. Do not dump the entire bottle of shampoo in the tub for bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
6. Do not dump the entire bottle of liquid soap from the sink in the tub for bubble bath. (Ages 6 through 8).
7. Do not dump the entire bottle of conditioner in the tub for reasons I have yet to understand. (Ages 6 through 8).
8. It’s not a good idea, either, to dump all of the bathroom dixie cups in the bathroom sink and then fill it up with water to watch them float. (Age 6, but she had help from a visiting 4 year old.)
9. Soap is required for a bath to really be a bath. (Age 5).
10. Do not put anything in your ear, including rocks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4.)
11. Do not put anything in your nose, including wooden sticks, without consulting an adult first. (Age 4)
12. Which led to: Do not put anything in any body part for any reason unless a parent says it is okay, with the exception of food or drink in your mouth.
I hope you enjoyed
this visit to yesteryear.
I could add:
ReplyDeleteDo not wash everyone's toothbrushes in the toilet even if you can't reach the sink to turn on the water there (age 3).
Your new bicycle is really rather unstable; do not ride it off a small cliff and expect to land upright and unhurt (on the way to the emergency room, age 6).
It's okay if the dog poops in the yard, but you should use the toilet (age 2).
When you want to go to the swimming pool across the lake, ride your bike around and over the bridge, rather than swimming across (age 10).
So funny! For any age:
ReplyDeleteIf you run barefoot in the (Atlanta) grass, you'll probably get bitten by fire ants.
Don't tease or pick up snakes.
Don't approach or pick up snapping turtles during egg laying season.
Do not cook a whole egg in the microwave.
Oh, these are all hysterical! Thank you for sharing, Nancy, Kathleen, and Margaret!
ReplyDeleteI never had kids, but I think my parents would have wanted to add,
Don't jump out of the second story window even if they do it on Rescue 8 (age 6) I didn't even get bruised.
Don't build a raft from twigs and vines and then set sail on a working river (age 6) The bridge tender rescued us when the raft sank - that's not what happened in Tom Sawyer!
Don't tie sheets together to go out the second story window to scream outside the Beatles hotel (age 12) I later discovered my father had followed the bus into the city and stood watch all night while I screamed.
Just because the girls dressing room in camp shares a wall with the boys dressing room does not mean you can access one from the other. (age 5)
Hilarious. My escapades and those of my children shall remain secrets as I chortle at those you have listed.
ReplyDelete