Sunday, April 5, 2020

A Control Freak’s Guide to Being Out of Control by Annette Dashofy


A Control Freak’s Guide to Being Out of Control by Annette Dashofy

I confess to being a card-carrying member of Control Freaks Anonymous, at least where my business life is concerned. I like to plan out my day, stick to a routine, schedule appointments, shopping trips, book events.

Except now, there’s nothing to schedule. My daily planner is a blank slate. Well, not exactly. It’s pages and pages of crossed-out items.

I’ve turned in the final book of my contract and have no more contractual obligations. I have two projects on my plate but no firm deadline forcing me to keep up the word count.

This control-freak lost control.

I spent the first week of this confinement thing fighting panic attacks. I’d never had one before and suddenly I was having several a day. Or just one long one from the time I woke up until the time I finally fell asleep.

That’s when I told myself, “Get a grip!” And so I have. Most days at least.

I knew I needed to adapt. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so being in a constant state of terror until this thing passes isn’t an option. Also, mindlessly watching hours of HGTV isn’t going to cut it either. I looked around my house and decided I could still be in control. Maybe not of my schedule but of my confinement.

While writing and promoting ten books on tight deadlines, my house became a low priority. My fitness practices lingered on the back burner most days as well. I needed to regain control over something in my life, so it might as well be my house and my health.

I kickstarted my yoga practice and rediscovered its calming effects. I also rediscovered muscles I’d forgotten I had.

It’s spring, so I started my spring cleaning. I have a couple of major clutter spots in my house. I’m working my way through them. Then I have closets, drawers, and cabinets to organize. In the meantime, I’m doing deep cleaning of the areas of the house that aren’t cluttered, just neglected. Heck, if this goes on long enough, I might even wash my windows.

Once it gets nicer out, I’ll give my front porch a good scrub-down. And I can start digging up my flower beds. The ones that have been taken over by weeds.

So I might not be able to look forward to book events or conventions for the foreseeable future, I can look forward to having a house suitable for visitors once we get to be social again.

Feeling helpless? Look around. What is one project you’ve been meaning to tackle, one thing you’ve wanted to learn, one task you’ve wanted to master? Watch some DIY YouTube videos. Clean out the closet. Sign up for an online class. Maybe even handwrite a letter to a friend or relative.

Does seizing control of something—anything—keep the panic attacks at bay? Not always. But it gives me something to focus my overactive mind on.

How about you? Is there something you’re doing now to regain some sense of control over your life? Do any of the ideas I’ve mentioned sound do-able for you? Do you have any ideas of your own for getting through each day? Please share!



8 comments:

  1. To tell the truth, I've been pretty content with the restrictions. We do live on seven acres in the woods, so we're really not confined to inside. I'm just glad we hadn't decided to take a late winter cruise, especially not if we'd decided to be frugal and get inside, no window accommodations.

    I'm working on my early-spring project of cutting invasive vines off trees. The woods are thick, and the terrain is a bit rough (there's a reason this property was never farmed.) I follow deer trails, but I'm a lot taller than deer, and I have to cut wild roses & brambles that arch over the trails. It's slow going, and the vines do eventually grow back so they need to be cut every few years, but it does keep the trees from being smothered by vines.

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  2. In control right now? Whew, I wish. The only thing I can do is make sure I go for a walk or exercise every day. If I do, I feel like I haven't wasted the day. Your mention of yoga has inspired me to check that out.
    My hubby and I have painted spare rooms and the closets are getting decluttered - the basement is next!

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  3. Hard work, Kathleen. I have poison ivy swarming the trunk of a spruce tree. I'll have to cut it off at the roots. We're weed central already and it's just going to get worse.

    Annette, I don't mind being cooped up at home. I'm learning how much more can accomplish if I'm not running to the grocery store or gym.

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  4. Shari, I'm the first to say my bit of "control" is still an illusion.

    Margaret, I usually love being cooped up but I want it to be on MY terms!

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  5. Since I spend much of my time indoors anyway, this isn't too much of a problem for me. And I go walking with friends each day, which helps my social requirements. What I miss is not being able to shop to my heart's content. I never realized I actually liked shopping for food.

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  6. I'm still struggling with concentration. Of course I "go" to the day job every weekday, I've always worked remotely so that's not changed, but any other kind of structure seems to have gone out the window.

    I do have a yoga app, great suggestion, Annette. I may need to get back to that. I have heard that there are also yoga classes available on YouTube. That sounds like a better option and one I should check out. I did a deep clean of the house in December, but my office closet would be a great weekend project. Hum. Maybe next weekend.

    Stay safe all.

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  7. Marilyn, I KNOW! I never thought I enjoyed shopping, but wow do I miss it!

    Kait, yes, do look into yoga. It's very grounding.

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