A few weeks ago TIME had an article "The Upside of Being an Introvert (and why extroverts are overrated)" by Bryan Walsh. From the twenty question quiz in the article, I tested as an introvert, but not completely. There's a third category of ambivert for those who fall between the extremes, but I do lean more towards introvert.
Years ago my father commented that starting with me, the eldest, his six children alternated between being outgoing and more introverted. He said I was outgoing, as well as Elaine and Catherine because we enjoyed being with friends, while my other siblings, Jerry, Suzanne and Phil had fewer friends and spent more time alone than we did. But looking back, I realize we were all shy and introverted to some extent. Research is starting to show that our tendency to be introverted or extroverted is inherited. Our mother was rather shy, our father not as much, but he did prefer reading and being with family or close friends and didn't join social groups or go out with buddies.
On the quiz I answered yes to preferring one on one or small group conversations and activities. But I've had great times in group activities with a purpose, like those involving fun activities in college for teacher preparation, or mystery dinners where the participants had to solve a crime, for instance. I also enjoy going to concerts and plays, too.
But overall, I enjoy solitude, prefer to express myself in writing, dislike conflict and do my best work alone. And when I've spent the day away, even an enjoyable one, I feel more drained than if I had spent the day at home digging, planting, weeding or mowing (and not with a riding mower, either).
My favorite activities are those of an introvert: reading, writing, gardening and walks in the woods - all done alone. I'm not as shy as I once was, but I still don't like being the center of attention. And yet I go to mystery conferences on my own and enjoy meeting new people and visiting with them.
"The key" . . . as Walsh writes . . . "is balancing three equal, but very different identities. There's our mostly inborn personality, the one that wants us to be introverted or extroverted; that's the biogenic identity. There are the expectations of our culture, family and religion - the sociogenic identity. And then there are our personal desires and our sense of what matters - the ideogenic identity." I have a feeling, though, that most most writers lean towards introversion like I do.
What about you? Are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert?
Due to my background as a psychologist I tend to discount quizzes in magazines. Measuring personality was once compared to measuring clouds in high winds with rubber bands.
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right. I seem to value alone time more as I get older. Anyway I thought the article was rather interesting.
ReplyDeleteI'm an introvert, which doesn't mean that I can't interact with people, but I don't do well in large groups, which I find overwhelming. I wish I like conferences more. Writers must be observers in life and that lends itself to introverts. My parent's were extroverts. They were so busy thay wouldn't have had time to write. So there are some practical considerations as well. I find myself being drawn into social activities I'd just as soon not do, but then convention dictates at times. When it takes me from my work though, I tend to get attitude.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post, Gloria. I was taught that your classification as introvert or extrovert depended on where you derive your energy. If you get energized from being with other people, the more the merrier, you're an extrovert. If you get drained of energy when around other people in even happy or pleasant group situations and must be alone to re-energize, you're an introvert. Always made sense to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm basically an introvert, but I had a job for years that required me to act as an extrovert. I'm good at that, but it's like a costume or uniform I put on. I come away drained and have to have alone time to recuperate. the woman who was my mentor and former boss was just the opposite. We'd put on an intensive week-long conference, and at the end, she'd be so overflowing with energy that she'd want to go out to party to burn it off while I needed to go home and crash.
EB, like you when I go to conferences, I can only be in the crowd for just so long, then I go to my room to read and relax. I don't enjoy weddings or other large events for very long, either.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I enjoy my sibling get togethers, by a certain time in the evening, I just want to get in my car and head home.
Linda, teaching third grade and subbing occasionally now, certainly requires me to be more extroverted, and I can mostly enjoy it - well, maybe not kindergarten. They're just so needy. But I do need to go home to re-energize.
ReplyDeleteOn vacations with my sisters, I don't feel as much stress because we're campers, and we all need alone time to read and when we go on long hikes, we're not all together, but spread out to think our own thoughts and occasionally meet to sit on logs or rocks to talk, but it's so much more relaxed. It's the same way when we visit museums or gardens.
I'm a little of everything at different times of my life. I'm mostly and extrovert. MY Myers-Briggs is ENTJ, which I'm told is odd.
ReplyDeleteThe older I get, the more I do Not favor too many days of alone time.
Different strokes.
Patg
Yes, Pat, that's why you love cruises so much with lots of people around you. Thank goodness everyone is not alike.
ReplyDeleteHi Gloria, I have read and enjoyed your blogs every week since you started posting. Hopefully this will be the week that I actually figure out how to leave a comment. I thought this week's topic is very interesting. Will look forward to more of your posts. Roxanne
ReplyDeleteYES !!!!!!!!!! It finally worked !!! Roxanne
ReplyDeleteI'm with Pat. I'm both at different times. However, when I get going, you can't shut me up. Those are my extrovert times. I'm also very focused, so when I'm into something, I don't want anyone to bother me. That's when I turn into an introvert. For the most part, I study the situation, warm up, and I'm okay.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, interesting subject, Gloria. I was too focused to remember to say that. :-)
ReplyDelete