If you are interested in blogging or want to promote your book, please contact E. B. Davis at writerswhokill@gmail.com.


WWK's May interviews will be: 5/2--indie author Bobbi Holmes, 5/9--TG Wolff (aka--Anita Devito), 5/16--Chocolate Bonbon author Dorothy St. James, 5/23--Lida Sideris, 5/30--Food Lovers' Village (and multiple Agatha winner) Leslie Budwitz. Please join us in welcoming these authors to WWK.


Our May Saturday Guest Blogger Schedule: 5/5--John Carenen, 5/12--Judy Penz Sheluk, 5/19--Margaret S. Hamilton, 5/26--Kait Carson.


Congratulations to our writers for the following publications:

Tina Whittle's sixth Tai Randolph mystery, Necessary Ends, debuts on April 3, 2018. Look for it here. Tina was nominated for a Derringer Award for her novelette, "Trouble Like A Freight Train Coming." We're all crossing our fingers for her.

James M. Jackson's Empty Promises, the next in the Seamus McCree mystery series (5th), will be available on April 3, 2018. Purchase links are here.


Dark Sister, a poetry collection, is Linda Rodriguez's tenth published book. It's available for sale here:


Shari Randall's "Pets" will be included in Chesapeake Crimes: Fur, Feathers, and Felonies anthology, which will be published in 2018. In the same anthology "Rasputin," KM Rockwood's short story, will also be published. Look for E. B. Davis's interview with the authors in this anthology on 4/14! Her short story "Goldie" will be published in the Busted anthology, which will be released by Level Best Books on April 25th.


Shari Randall's second Lobster Shack Mystery, Against the Claw, will be available in August, 2018.


In addition, our prolific KM has had the following shorts published as well: "Making Tracks" in Passport to Murder, Bouchercon anthology, October 2017 and "Turkey Underfoot," appears in the anthology The Killer Wore Cranberry: A Fifth Course of Chaos.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2018

A group of vowels walk into a bar...

I heard some grammar-based bar jokes recently, and thought I’d try my hand at a few.

A group of vowels walk into a bar. A tells E, “I owe you, but don’t know why.”
An oxymoron walks into a bar. Arguing the issues of the day and drinking heavily, he has a sobering experience.
A hyperbole storms into a totally dead bar, absolutely obliterating its tranquility.
A non-sequitur walks into a bar. “Dutch courage” was a boon to soldiers in the Thirty Years’ War.
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, planning to burn the midnight oil at both ends.
A comma splice walks into a bar, he has a few drinks, he starts a fight.
A sentence fragment. Walks into a bar. With lots on his mind to forget.
A run-on sentence walks into a bar he’s carrying the steering wheel from his car which he just wrecked he needs a drink or two badly.
A subjunctive would have walked into a bar if only she had realized her options.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar with a man he has known for years wearing a cowboy hat named Jesse.
A dyslectic walks into a bra.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar and spends the evening drinking, smoking, meeting with clients, arranging for packing of illegal substances for storage and delivery.
A simile walks into a bar quiet as a mouse.
A synonym enters a taproom.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to celebrate.
A pronoun walks into a bar and sees an attractive verb. He suggests they conjugate.
The present walks into a bar and sees the past with the future. The situation is tense.
A dangling participle walks into a bar. He takes a hostage. The SWAT team negotiates with him for an hour before being shot dead by a marksman.
A pair of quotation marks walk into a bar for “happy hour.”
A double negative walked into a bar and didn’t not have a drink.
A bar is entered by a passive.
Tom Swifty walks into a bar. “Give me a double,” he says thirstily.

Here’s one that I can’t take credit for and doesn’t involve a bar, but I can’t resist including:
A team led by Dr. Craig Smith of the University of Hawaii found the crabs using a remotely operated submersible. 
Clever crabs indeed.


16 comments:

Jim Jackson said...

Thanks for the early morning laugh, KM.

Holly Grant said...

Hi KM. Great jokes and signs.

Grace Topping said...

Love these, Kathleen. Fun starting the morning with a good laugh. I always appreciate humor related to grammar, and these made me think. You are clever coming up with them.

Kait said...

Laughing out loud. Wonderful, Kathleen, and very creative!

Barbara House said...

KM, actually I like yours the best. All very good and are sort of teaching jokes! Well done.

Margaret Turkevich said...

Hilarious, Kathleen! I needed a jump start on this snowy morning.

Deborah Romano said...

Laugh out loud funny! I'm forwarding today's blog post to an English teacher!

DebRo

Shari Randall said...

Those clever crabs! I loved these - thanks, KM!

Ann Bennett said...

Very funny and good. Thanks for the laughs.

Warren Bull said...

Fun!

Gloria Alden said...

What a nice way to start the day. Loved them, Kathleen.

Kaye George said...

Love these! I just had some terrific laughs. Thanks, Kathleen.

KM Rockwood said...

I'm pleased that people are enjoying this. I had fun thinking them up.

Kaye George said...

You made these up? Now I'm impressed!

kathywaller1.com said...

I wish I'd had these when I was teaching high school English. Some wouldn't have understood many of them, but the one about the dyslectic would have shut down class for the rest of the hour.

kathywaller1.com said...

My previous comment appears to have a little problem with the pronoun-antecedent thing. Please forgive. Since retiring, my skills have slipped. Uh-oh. There I go again.