The sky’s the limit
“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.”
Too many times, we find ourselves staying someplace because it’s comfortable. Whether it’s a job that you hate, or a city that you’ve outgrown, we oftentimes will stay in that place because we’re secretly afraid of trying something new. We talk ourselves out of it, without realizing that’s what we’re doing. So many fear-induced excuses masquerade as logical reasons: “I’ve got too much on my plate right now”, “I’ve never tried to do [insert dream here] before, so I probably won’t be any good at it”, etc.
But the truth of the matter is that we’re scared of leaving the safety of what we already know. There is a serious amount of comfort in the sameness of life. Even when small obstacles get put in our way – a traffic accident, spilling coffee on your outfit, a friend or loved one complaining (for the 20th time) about their spouse/coworker/children – these are trials we’ve experienced many times before and know how to react to them. We know what’s expected of us, and how we should respond in those situations. So, when we entertain a thought of changing something in our routine, the part of our brain that likes the familiar rears up and searches for ways to talk us out of changing things.
But mixed in with the fear is a fair amount of excitement, we just don’t always recognize it enshrouded in all the fear. At first, it’s a very small voice that keeps the dream coming back to you; the “someday” voice. But each time it returns, the voice gets a little louder, until you (hopefully) can’t ignore it anymore.
Even people who appear to embrace change very well experience trepidation occasionally, I would assume. It’s just that they don’t let the fear stop them from roaming outside of their comfort zone. And I personally believe we all embody both sides of the change/no-change spectrum, just in varying degrees. For example, I see nothing scary or difficult in moving to another city (I’ve lived in over ten different ones so far in my life), but the thought of changing my hair color stops me dead.
I was even a little trepidatious when I was asked to join WWK as a bi-weekly contributor. I was honored, to be sure, but I worried that I wouldn’t fit in with the group, or be able to come up with two blogs a month for this site, in addition to the ones on my own site, and the other writing I want to do. But when I let the fear run its course, and I thought about the opportunity more, I realized that – in addition to being honored to be invited to the group – I really wanted to take on this task. I wanted to grow as a writer. I wanted to see what new and amazing experiences I would have. And I wanted to be a part of something as great as what my fellow WWK bloggers produce. Here was my chance to see where this dream of being a writer could take me.
So, thank you to E.B., Warren, Pauline, Gloria, KB, and Kara, for giving me the opportunity to blog with you all. I’m excited to be one among you, and look forward to a wonderful year!
When I'm in those situations, Alyx, I ask myself, "What do I have to lose?" Time is the only answer, time away from writing. Yet sharing your experiences can help other writers and blogging promotes your work and shows your professionalism and presence in the social media, which I'm told agents and publishers do want to see. We glad that you decided to join us. Welcome to WWK.
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Alyx,
ReplyDeleteWe're glad you accepted our invitation. I am convinced that successful writers are just as fearful about how their work will be viewed and just as invested in their precious creation as those who hesitate to put their work out for review or who stick with what has been acceptable in the past. Successful writers look for challenges and seek out risk, They feel the fear and continue on anyway,
I understand the feelings of being both intriqued by change and a little fearful, too. I don't consider myself a brave person, but I've taken many challenges that have taken me out of my comfort zone. Writing is one of those challenges, not so much the writing itself, but pushing oneself into areas to improve my writing. When I went to my first Malice Domestic not knowing anyone or even being a member of Sinc or Guppies, it was a brave step forward, but I made so many writer friends from that brave step. It certainly was worth it. Joining WWK was another one. I'm glad to be a new member here with you, too.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading your blogs, Alyx. The brain needs change or it goes to sleep, letting us follow routines and habits. Every time I move or change jobs, new ideas for my writing flood into my mind. Contact with my kids and grandkids helps me see how fast the world around me is changing.
ReplyDeleteAlyx, what a lovely post. I agree with Warren. Even the most successful of writers are fearful. Sue Grafton said she lives in a state of fear about here writing, and her writing wouldn't continue to be good if she didn't.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to come late to your post, but I'm doing jury duty on the other side of the county this week, which means internet only at night--and last night, I had a writer friend visiting town and had to go introduce him and the evening was lost.
So glad to see you on Writers Who Kill!
Thanks to everyone for the incredible welcome! I agree with you all that fear is a natural part of being a writer. The main thing is to not let the fear keep you from doing things.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to growing some more with this group! :o)