Everybody Needs a Plot by Warren Bull

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 Everybody Needs a Plot: By Warren Bull

One of the things that sells tickets for professional wrestling is the storyline. Wrestlers are incredible athletes who perform stunts and gymnastic moves that require strength, timing, and balance. But their genuine skill is less effective at the box office than a moving storyline that engages the audience with larger-than-life, but memorable characters.

At an event that featured both men, a 19-year-old boxer then named Cassius Clay met Gorgeous George (a nickname he acquired from his mother-in-law.) The 46-year-old professional wrestler had an ordinary physique but he attracted most of the 15,000 people who came. They wanted to see Gorgeous George get his comeuppance. 

During the event the wrestler announced, if he lost (to his opponent called Classy Freddie Blassie), “I’ll crawl across the ring and cut my [long dyed blond] hair off! But that’s not gonna’ happen because I’m the greatest wrestler in the world.” After the match. George told Clay. “A lot of people will pay to see someone shut your mouth. So, keep on bragging, keep on sassing and always be outrageous.”  

Clay, who later changed his name to Mohammad Ali, became a great character as well as a great boxer.  

Wrestling promoter and ring performer Vince McMahan employed scriptwriters and developed a number of extended scenarios that filled the seats, sold tickets at arenas and pay-for-view events, and kept people talking for years. When attractive Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin was a candidate for Vice President, a look-alike wrestler appeared who was always referred to as “The Governor.” Shannon Spruill who wrestled as “Daffney” parodied the candidate. She convinced other women wrestlers to tone down their makeup and look less glamorous so that men would take them more seriously. Her efforts mirrored some of the news commentaries that focused on Palin’s appearance as if that was the most important thing about her. Some of the wrestler’s statements closely resembled actual statements by the candidate. The whole presentation verged on political satire.

Curtis Wright who wrestled as “The Godfather” entered the ring surrounded by women in skimpy costumes, often recruited from local strip clubs, called “hos.” At one point, The Godfather “reformed” and appeared as a self-righteous religious bigot. The character change included more than a little social commentary.

I admit these examples were not the usual rivalry, betrayal, and “bad blood” themes of professional wrestling. But, if only by chance, sometimes the plots had a surprising level of complexity. Wrestlers with the best storylines were able to continue to perform well past their physical prime.