How to Talk in Kansas City
I had an interesting conversation
the other day with a new arrival to Kansas City. “George” had spent all of his
life in New York City before coming here.
His wife, “Gracie” was native to this area. She got a job offer in Kansas City and much of her family
lives in the area. He has been in
finance and ended up unemployed so he agreed to the move
Gracie said they had a “terrible,
awful” apartment in the city. George said they had a two bedroom apartment with
access to a backyard and, “It wasn’t that bad. Housing is expensive in the city.
We had a good deal.”
George said he finds it hard to
talk to people in restaurants and stores. He said he was used to ordering in
restaurants by being ready to give the entire order rapidly and in one
breath. He said in New York
waiters and waitresses became angry at customers who, “wasted their time” by
chatting or asking questions. In Kansas City, not so much.
Gracie said George was not used to
making “small talk.” George said he knew how to make small talk but “Small talk
here in Kansas City is really, really small.” He said he was not used to talking about the weather when he
only wanted to buy groceries. Of course in Kansas City when snow is predicted
people scurry to the grocery store and stock up for a month.
In New York George could have
talked about professional sports.
With the way so-called professional teams perform in this city, that
might not be a good idea. College
sports on the other hand can almost always spark an interaction.
I remember moving to a small town
in North Carolina and learning to slow down the speed of my speech and practice
more politeness.
What do newcomers need to learn to
fit in where you live?
Great post, Warren. I'm originally from Decatur, Illinois, where you learn to give directions by landmarks ("You go down Main Street till you reach the white house on the corner where the Merritts used to live..."). Now I live in southern California, where I had to learn to give directions by time ("Long Beach is about twenty minutes from here, down the 22"). I also had to learn to wear a winter coat when it was below 70 degrees.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first moved to Cincinnati from New Jersey, I literally would almost walk over people because my pace (only slightly faster than normal for the East Coast) was way faster than average there.
ReplyDeleteBut I adjusted and now after 20 years when I return East I need to consciously pick up my pace so I'm not the one getting run over.
~ Jim
Gayle, I remember in North Carolina I sometimes got direction by landmarks that no longer existed. e.g.
ReplyDelete"Turn Left after you pass where the Watkins barn used to be before it burned down ten years ago."
James, Excellent example.
ReplyDeleteGood blog, Warren. I've lived in the same area my whole life. I know there are some differences in different areas, but I also think it's an individual thing, too. I tend to chat because I'm interested in people. My son, on the other hand, is impatient to get on with it and doesn't want to make small talk.
ReplyDeleteAs for slowing down, Jim, could it be getting older? I still walk faster than most of my friends and have to stop and wait for them, but my California daughter doesn't think I walk fast enough.
This was fun. I grew up in Ohio. When I moved to Connecticut, I learned very quickly that personal space was different. In Ohio, we would often touch people on the arm when making a point, as if to create a sympathetic connection. No touching people in the East until you know them well! In Ohio, we would stand only a couple feet apart while talking. In Connecticut, I had to back up and put some real air between us. In the Midwest, people are on a first-name basis right from the get-go; not here, though, where some people take real offense at that kind of familiarity.
ReplyDeleteLlyn K.
Well way down in East Texas, we've been accused of not speaking English.
ReplyDeleteWe moved from Massachusetts to Virginia when I was a kid. I still remember watching adults move their lips as they listened to my rapid fire, heavily Boston speech, trying to figure out what I was saying.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first moved to the D.C. area I was surprised at the constant lines of black SUVs on the road. Then I found out they were Secret Service motorcades. It became confusing. Should I pull over to the side and let them pass me? What about stop lights? I realized they don’t have to stop at lights. There wasn’t anything in the motor vehicle handbook for those types of situations. Finally, I learned that the agents in the backseat leave their windows open and yell or gesture with their hands to direct drivers. Now, I rarely see them. Perhaps they stop traffic and shut down roads so they don’t have to deal with new-to-the-area drivers.
ReplyDeleteIn North Carolina, you'd better learn how to pronounce Appa-latch-ya. It's not the way it was up nawth! Then of course there's Y'all, and All y'all (if you're speaking to a group...)
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Warren. In SC, people are often politely asked, "Where are you from?" If their accents are not identifiable!
ReplyDeleteI was born in Ottawa, Ks. But when mom married her second husband, I became an Army brat. We moved to Arizona, Minnesota, California, and Ohio. Huge culture differences!
ReplyDeleteWe moved back to Kansas and I now live 30 miles from where I was born. We still give directions by landmarks. Both the young and the old wave as you drive by them.
I don't know half of them, but waving is just common courtesy.
I remember inviting some of my friends from KC, down and they couldn't believe I had to drive 30 miles to the nearest Walmart store and we only had 3 restaurants to choose from. They were horrified!
It's not just a city thing, its a country thing. Loved the comment about the KC Sports! You made me laugh! Now you could ask about our new coaches they just hired, I'm sure everyone thinks they are the savior for our football team!
Loved the post!
Diane Kratz
I was born in Ottawa, Ks. But when mom married her second husband, I became an Army brat. We moved to Arizona, Minnesota, California, and Ohio. Huge culture differences!
ReplyDeleteWe moved back to Kansas and I now live 30 miles from where I was born. We still give directions by landmarks. Both the young and the old wave as you drive by them.
I don't know half of them, but waving is just common courtesy.
I remember inviting some of my friends from KC, down and they couldn't believe I had to drive 30 miles to the nearest Walmart store and we only had 3 restaurants to choose from. They were horrified!
It's not just a city thing, its a country thing. Loved the comment about the KC Sports! You made me laugh! Now you could ask about our new coaches they just hired, I'm sure everyone thinks they are the savior for our football team!
Loved the post!
Diane Kratz