Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Dark Night Part Two

For part one, check here:

http://writerswhokill.blogspot.com/2012/09/dark-night.html

What keeps writers chugging along through the dark night of the writer's soul? Why was I so tenacious about keeping two short stories in the air, juggling deadlines? I could have missed the deadline for one or both. One or both could have been turned down. There were no negative consequences to leaving both stories unfinished. What kept me churning out the stories in spite of a drawer full of rejections?

I know it isn't the hope of publication, because many times I decided I would never be published. I kept writing and I kept submitting. It certainly wasn't the hope of ever making any money from writing. One year I made $600 for a text book on the Industrial Revolution that was never published. Each time I received a call for manuscripts or discovered a new outlet for my kind of short story, I wrote something new. I almost never resubmit anything.

It's pretty clear that it is the writing I love, not the publishing. I don't start new stories when I have nothing to do but write. I do it when I am busy. I start them if something has happened in my life that needs to be resolved through fiction. Sometimes I don't even know this until I read the finished first draft. Sometimes I have a fleeting idea that appeals to me, and I have to get it down on paper (well, into my computer, anyway). I write because I am a writer.

Why I must write:

I write for my mother who has been dead for many years. She read mysteries and I wrote my first one for her, because I knew I had to write, but couldn't decide what.

I write as therapy. I lose myself in my work and work through my problems by getting the words on paper.

I write to amuse my friends. I have a couple of friends who seem to enjoy pretty much everything I put out. And I myself am happy with the product. I can reread it and say "I did that."

I write to teach. Each of my short stories is a mini history lesson. Maybe even a mini lesson in values. The two stories I juggled last week are just that. One shows the place of women in our society as reflected in the mirror of Victorian morality; the other shows a pessimistic person's failure to grasp the gifts he has at hand.

I write for the discipline of it. The first step is easy, the beginning and ending. Filling in the middle is hard work. Revising after the first draft is painful. Revising after readers comments is almost unbearable. But it is one of the few things I can make myself do that is too hard for me to do.

Mostly I write because I have no choice. My yearly goal is to turn out 12 stories and submit six of them, but I would never do this if something inside me didn't make me sit at the computer and do the work.

There is an upside to all this. This morning my email contained an agreement to publish my "brilliant" story.

Of course I am elated at the complement and the acceptance, but in the end it isn't the publication, but the writing that is important.

8 comments:

  1. I think it's wonderful that you write for writing's sake, KB, & that you even use it as therapy. :o)

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  2. Congratulations on having your brilliant story published, KB.

    I write stories or books because I have so many ideas and characters floating around in my head. I write poetry because some ideas are too small for a story but perfect for a poem. I write in my journal because it's a chronicle of my days and what is going on in my life even if it's often a hum drum day. I even make lists of things to do because writing things down seems to keep me on task and it feels like I'm accomplishing things when I cross things off my list. I write because I need to put pen to paper.

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  3. Gloria, I'm so glad someone else writes lists to cross off the items in an effort to feel accomplished. I do the exact same thing. It's ridiculous, and yet there are times when looking at that list of crossed off items leads to thinking about what next--and that keeps me progressing. Without the list, I'd probably dither!

    OT--I just was at another website and signed into google. I came here to post my comment and google required me to enter a phone number. They sent me a code, which I had to give back to them before I could post here. It's no wonder there have been problems getting to our blog. They said that there was "unusual activity" on my account. Are we being plagued by hackers or cyber attacks?

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  4. This is the first blog here I have been able to read in days.
    I have had others ask me about the kill fee for the text book. That was work for hire. The company hired me to write the book, then the history section went out of business just as they were ready to publish it. I met my contractual obligations so I got to keep the money. That means they own the work.

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  5. This is the first blog here I have been able to read in days.
    I have had others ask me about the kill fee for the text book. That was work for hire. The company hired me to write the book, then the history section went out of business just as they were ready to publish it. I met my contractual obligations so I got to keep the money. That means they own the work.

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  6. Sorry about the repeated comment. The site tossed me out when I hit publish.

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  7. Those are terrific reasons to write! I especially like that each of your short stories is a mini history lesson.

    I also write for therapy. Whenever I have a decision to make, I grab a pen and paper and "write" it out.

    Congratulations on your short story being accepted!

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  8. Great blog. I wonder if it is easier to write when other things in my life demand attention. Having goals is part of what defines a serious writer. I am one of the people who enjoys reading whatever you write.

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