Random Thoughts by Nancy L. Eady

1) The best anti-rain talisman known to man is the umbrella you remember to take to your office.  The best rain talisman known to man is the umbrella you forget in your car. 

2) If your browser history would make you the top suspect if your spouse died suspiciously, you probably write mysteries.  If you don’t write mysteries, your spouse should worry.

3) Free tip: 95% of computer problems can be solved by unplugging the computer and rebooting it. Caveat: Call in the professionals for the remaining 5%.  Fact of Life:  If the computer displays the black screen of death, it’s dead, Jim. 

4) Do you realize that modern civilization is almost totally dependent on the health of a handful of orbiting satellites? If you don’t, think back to the last time your cell phone service or internet went out.

5) If your first thought on passing a nook or a cranny is what a great place it would be to stash a body, weapon or assailant, you are either a mystery writer or a contract killer. 

6) Never let the office copier know you are working on a deadline. 

7) The worst typographical error that you don’t catch will be on the first page of the document in a prominent position. 

8) Important tip in planning a murder: Do not list the name of the person you intend to kill in the contacts on your phone under “sacrifice” or “victim.”  (True story.)

9) Home is not a place. Home is people. 

10) It is impossible to proofread your own work with 100% accuracy. 

11) Age is just a number. I know this because my joints have counted every single year. 

12) God has a sense of humor. Ask the young elementary teacher who prayed for patience. The next day? A new student enrolled in her class. Her name was Patience. (True story). 

13) You always find the thing that you lost in the last place that you look.

14) Writing is hard work. It requires time and dedication. While writing, I am not free to discuss homework, our plans for next weekend, what to watch on TV or whose turn it is to walk the dog or take out the trash. I may not even hear the non-writer the first three times he or she speaks.

15) To be fair, if I’m reading a good book, I won’t hear the non-reader the first three times he or she speaks, either. 

What random thoughts are running through your head today? 

Ten Writing Maxims You Never Learned in School by Nancy L. Eady

I wrote my first blog post on my personal blog, workingmomadventures.com, in February 2011. In doing so, I knew exactly how this gig was going to play out. Someone, a publisher or agent or other person connected with the book industry, would stumble across my blog, find my writing fascinating, get in touch with me and lead me forward to fame and fortune. It didn’t take long for me to realize that the publishing world works very differently, so I moved to plan B – write a mystery novel. When I wrote “The End” on the first draft, I just knew I would receive phone calls and offers galore, the book would be printed and I would ride off into the sunset in a blaze of glory, surrounded by admirers, a possible movie deal and pockets full of cash. 

Ummm, not so much. I would love to tell you that as of today, I have lots of advice to give you from the mountain top, but the truth is I’m still scouting towards the foothills of the industry. I have yet to find an agent, to sell my novel, to finish any one of the several sequels I have started, or to win any awards.

But even in the foothills, there are lessons to be learned, so I thought I’d share a few that I have gleaned so far. 

1) It is impossible to proofread your own work with 100% accuracy. As one wit said (probably Mark Twain or Ben Franklin – always good guesses when it comes to quotes), “Facts are stubborn things, but fallacies are stubborner.” Our brains are amazing, but they know what we intended to write whether we put it down on paper or not, so they automatically fill in missing words and skip over extra words to help us out. 

2) Any error you leave in your writing will appear in the worst place possible. I learned this one doing legal writing in the course of my day job, but it holds true for fiction as well. I’d catch every single mistake in a brief except the mistake at the very beginning where I gave the brief the wrong name, told the judge the motion was from the defendant rather than the plaintiff, or asked the judge to grant the motion I was trying to get him/her to deny. The same is true for any submission you make or query letter you write. As hard as you work to proof-read your materials, proofread your first and last pages double hard. The worst mistakes always pop up there. 

3) Do not have characters with names starting with the same letter or containing the same sound. Apparently, that can confuse readers. My first novel included names like Ashley, Molly, Maggie, Johnny, Henderson, Herring and Howard. It was the second or third re-write before they changed to names like Heather, Rose, Jackson and Tony. 

4) Find and replace is your friend, especially when you have to change names from Ashley, Molly, Maggie, Johnny, Henderson, Herring and Howard to Heather, Rose, Jackson and Tony. 

5) When you type “The End” on your first draft, it isn’t. Novels take a lot of revision. Some people love revisions and some people hate them, but the revisions have to be done. 

6) When you can afford it, use the services of a professional editor. I was hesitant to do this with my first draft. I didn’t really understand how the process would work and I certainly didn’t want anyone taking over my story. Still, I plucked up my courage and my finances and sent my baby away for a developmental edit. Am I ever glad I did! The editor does not hijack your story but rather works with you to point out its strengths and weaknesses. She or he may provide suggestions as examples for you to follow, but you choose what you do and how you do it. 

 7) Never stop learning. Writing organizations such as Sisters in Crime and their on-line subchapter, the Guppies, offer reasonably priced on-line courses. In addition, many books have been written discussing various aspects of writing. 

8) Persevere. Never, ever, ever give up. Many people quit writing after the first novel goes unsold, the first story is ignored for the anthology, or their blog readership stays in double digits. With rare exceptions, the people who succeed in getting their works published didn’t give up. They kept writing until they got published, even if the first novel, the second novel, the third novel, etc., ended up staying in the desk drawer. 

9) Community involvement matters. And here, I’m not talking about volunteering at your local humane shelter (although that certainly does matter) but rather being involved in your genre’s writing community. It keeps writing from being such a lonely pursuit, gives you contacts in the industry, provides you with emotional support when you are discouraged and provides learning opportunities. 

10) When you have a day job, sitting down at night and opening your laptop to start writing is the international signal for children, dogs and Microsoft Word updates to interrupt you. Go ahead and plan on moving your bedtime back at least an hour, or you’ll never get anything done. 

What maxims has writing taught you so far?