“Off the Page” with Elmo Simpson by The Wren (Sarah E. Burr)

A Note from Sarah: For this month’s post, I’m handing the blogging reins to Winnie Lark, the main character in my Book Blogger Mysteries. Winnie runs a popular bookish website called What Spine is Yours (think Metacritic for the literary world). However, she manages it anonymously, and the online community only knows her as “The Wren.” She often interviews guest authors through their characters, and that’s the focus of today’s feature. Enjoy!

Hi, everyone. The Wren, here. I’m delighted to be guest blogging for Writers Who Kill about a new mystery series debuting this fall. From best-selling author J.C. Kenney, Panic in the Panhandle arrives September 26 and is the first book in the Elmo Simpson Mysteries. For today’s feature, I’ve invited Elmo Simpson, the man himself, to participate in one of my “Off the Page” interviews. You’re going to have so much fun getting to know him!

Elmo, thanks so much for being here for “Off the Page.” Tell us about Paradise Springs. How did you find yourself in this little slice of panhandle paradise?

First off, thanks for inviting me to chat with you, Wren! Paradise Springs is a funky little coastal town on the Florida Panhandle. I tell people looking for it to take a right at Panama City, and if you get to Pensacola, you’ve gone too far. The town’s filled with more oddballs, ne’er-do-wells, and misfits than any place I’ve ever heard of. And that’s a good thing! I arrived in the Springs a little over a decade ago. In my former life, I worked in software design. It was a good career until I ended up in the hospital because of all the stress that came with it. In response, I quit my job, sold my house and belongings, and took off in my truck to find a new life where the good times were numerous and the stressors were few. That place turned out to be Paradise Springs, Florida, and I can’t imagine living anywhere else now.

That’s amazing! Good for you, Elmo. Putting your passions and interests first is such an important life lesson—definitely one I can relate to. So, what led you to become an animal removal specialist? That’s a pretty unique career!

It was totally by accident. A friend of mine, Seven Banderas, knew someone who was being bothered by chipmunks burrowing under their house. I love animals and I’d had some experience dealing with the little critters in my old life, so I volunteered to trap and then release them back into the wild. Well, I got the rodents corralled and moved with a minimum of fuss, and one thing led to another. Before I knew it, I was getting calls from people who needed help from Elmo, the critter guy. I rolled with it, and Elmo’s Critter Removal Service was born.

Number one, I love the name Seven. I can’t wait to learn more about them! Number two, it shows how much the people of Paradise Springs have come to rely on you. Do you have a favorite animal to work with?

Bats. A lot of people are freaked out by them, but I love them. I mean, come on, they eat mosquitoes. How great is that? Like pretty much all wild animals, they can be tricky to catch and rehome safely, but it’s always a thrill watching them fly away when I’ve released them.

I’ll admit I’m one of those folks who gets queasy around bats, but after you’ve described them so kindly, I need to reevaluate my opinions! It’s clear from your line of work that you have to be pretty brave going into unknown situations against unknown opponents. So, how did you end up involved in a murder investigation?

I owed a buddy, Rambo Quigley, a favor and he told me it was time to pay up. Seriously, he showed me a kindness my first night in Paradise Springs. When I asked how I could repay him, he laughed and said I could return the favor someday. Well, that day arrived when an alligator was found at the scene of Fran Cohen’s murder. Rambo’s a gator rancher, you see. One thing led to another, and since he and Cohen had gotten into a heated argument about a land development scheme, Rambo was accused of committing the murder. That’s when he called me. I’ve got some amazing friends in the Springs that I’d do pretty much anything for. Rambo’s one of them, so when he said he needed my help, I jumped into action. Well, that’s not quite true. First, I panicked and said I knew nothing about conducting a murder investigation. Then, I remembered that I’d made a promise and got to work.

I didn’t even know a “gator rancher” existed before meeting you and your friends. You learn something new every day, right? You’ve already mentioned a few folks readers will meet in Paradise Springs. Who else do we get the pleasure of meeting? Are you a solo investigator, or do you have a crime-solving crew?

I’m happy to say that I do, in fact, have a crew. First, there’s my girlfriend, Nicola Beecham. She’s fearless and loves an adventure, so when I needed to talk to a suspect who I was afraid of because he might be a vampire, Nic rode shotgun with me. She’s the ultimate partner-in-crime-solving. There’s also Wendell Banderas, who runs the Rip Tide Bar and Grill. Wendell’s been around the block and is always ready with good advice. Earlier, I mentioned Wendell’s daughter, Seven (that’s her nickname, by the way). She’s another part of my crew. She tells it like it is, whether I like what she has to say or not. She’s in her twenties, so she knows the younger crowd in the area. That comes in handy when talking about suspects. Then there’s Rambo, of course. He can get a little emotional at times, but the guy knows everyone within a hundred miles. If anyone’s tuned to the Springs Signal, our version of the rumor mill, it’s him.  

I appreciate how you casually mentioned you interviewed a vampire. Paradise Springs truly sounds like a happening kind of place. Can you share one exciting adventure you had while investigating?

You know how I told you Nic is fearless? There was one night she and I kind of broke into the condo where Fran Cohen was murdered. And by broke into, I mean that I had a keycard to enter the place thanks to my critter removal business, but we still weren’t supposed to be there. Anyway, we were busy looking for clues when we were confronted by a guy pointing an automatic rifle at us. Thanks to some fast talking, we got out of there unscathed. I’d rather not be on the business end of one of those things ever again, though.

Yikes! Does this mean your crime-fighting days are over?

While I hope so, I can’t make any promises. In a town filled with as many eccentrics and people running from their pasts, you never know what the next day will bring. I can promise you that if a friend ever finds themselves in need, I’ll be there to answer the call. That goes for both removing critters and for solving murders.

It sounds like you’re the guy to call! It’s been a blast getting to learn more about you and your new mystery-solving adventure, Elmo. Thanks so much for taking the time to come “Off the Page” with me. Happy Sleuthing! ~ The Wren

 

Panic in the Panhandle debuts on September 26 at your favorite online retailer. Preorder here to join Elmo Simpson in his first mystery.

Learn more about The Wren, Winnie, and the Book Blogger Mysteries at www.saraheburr.com.

Who’s Interviewing Whom? By Geoffrey Mehl

Stray Cats and Nine Lives author Geoffery Mehl interviews one of his characters today.

E. B. Davis

Geoff: Hello and welcome to an illustration of how casual sketches can help develop characters and practice character voice. Today we’re at a local supermarket, interviewing one of our favorite characters, Lucy Tramanian—

Lucy: Hi, everybody! Wait a sec. So here’s the thing. Just once it would be really cool if I interviewed you instead.

Geoff: But you’re the character, and I’m your writer.

Lucy: Ah, so, like being at your beck and call, day in and day, out makes me somehow unqualified?

Geoff: Not at all. It makes you special. Nobody cares about the writer. It’s always about characters.

Lucy: Hm. You’ve got that right. Without us, you’d be staring at a blank screen, sucking coffee, clicking on web pages, checking your sales for about the tenth time of the day.  I know this, because I’m really, really good at hacking, and I’ve been all over your hard drive. But still, c’mon, I’ve never had the chance to interview. 

Geoff: Okay, go for it.

Lucy: How much space have we got?

Geoff: Couple of pages, a few hundred words.

Lucy: You’re kidding. Sheesh, they must really be on a tight budget. I can fix that with their hosting service, you know. Just a few clicks of the mouse…

Geoff: Don’t cause trouble today. Just play the game.

Lucy: Yeah, yeah. Okay. First, how come we always do this stuff in the produce department of a supermarket?

Geoff: Because the idea is that when you’re designing a character, you take them out for test drives in innocuous places like, say, shopping for rutabagas. You converse about trivial stuff, you get acquainted with voice.

Lucy: I am so tired of the rutabaga example you use all the time. The entire cast thinks doughnuts and coffee would be better. Even the editors downstairs agree. I mean, like, there’s not even a rutabaga here. Just a bunch of onions. None of us even like onions. Tommy uses them in omelets sometimes, but I know for a fact that Mandy just tolerates it and Charlie and Sergei could care less.

Geoff: So is this some sort of a grievance thing or are you interviewing?

Lucy: Coffee, black, and a doughnut. With pink frosting and sprinkles. Or I cut you loose, and all the 

readers are gonna snicker.

Geoff: Can I sigh?

Lucy: Only in third person and then probably in italics. Let’s get some doughnuts, and I promise not to screw up the next scene. Questions—okay, so when did you start doing this stuff?

Geoff: Right after a really good talk by Anne Perry. She’s –

Lucy: I know, and she’s also a much better writer than you. God, I would just kill to be one of her characters. Well, fictionally, of course.

Geoff: You’d probably have to. With me, you get to do that three-hundred-word-a-minute typing of code while the gibberish just flows across the screen.

Lucy: That is such a lame cliché! Next time, I want to use the delete and backspace key as much you do.  So, I’ve got to know. How’d you come up with me in the first place?  A brilliant flash of revelation? Months and months of careful planning? Based on someone you love and adore?

Geoff: Actually I was stuck on a plot point, knowing one minor character, who was so-so at low-level hacking, could not possibly have set up the theft of that Gulfstream jet.

Lucy: That was sweet, wasn’t it? I’m thinking about dusting off my old Nyx character for the next in the series, the one you dreamed up in that casino scene with Lester Finn.

Geoff: Nyx, the goddess of night. Not bad for a walk-on part that turned into a major character.

Lucy: Yep, that’s true. And I got to point a gun at Tommy in the pouring rain. I mean, how cool was that? He laughs about it now. How we doing on space?

Geoff: Nearly done. We’ve got to leave room for a bio. So there’s just about enough room to say —

Lucy: It’s been very cool, rush right over Amazon to buy the guy’s books, Stray Cats and Nine Lives, which you can get for three bucks each. Like, how cheap do you want it? Plus, make a point of stopping by to our little blog, Vapor Trail, over at geoffmehl.com.  Which, I heard, you’ve turned into a free magazine, stuffed with all the stories we tell.

Geoff: I have. An e-zine, all the better stuff from the website, just for signing on the mailing list.

Lucy: Do we get a salary bonus for that?  I mean, these are great doughnuts and the coffee’s not bad for the sort of stuff you find guesting at a blog. But honest, money is handy in our business.

Geoff: Say goodbye, Luce.

Lucy: Bye-bye! I’d wave, but you can’t do that in first-person interviews. Thanks for reading us!

Director: And... we’re clear. That’s a wrap. Thank you, everyone.

Lucy: You wouldn’t happen to know which way to the green room for Live with Kelly, would you? She does much better interviews.

Geoff: Go out the door, turn right. It’s just down the hall.

Lucy: Thanks. Catch ya later, boss.

Lucy Tramanian, age 29, aka Nyx, is one of the most feared white hat hackers in the world and also manages the financial empire of Tommy Kane and Mandy Owens. Where she went to school and details about her youth are unknown. Until recently, she resided on an island owned by Mandy in the Bahamas and has control of a private bank in Grand Cayman. Her current whereabouts are a secret. Geoffrey Mehl (older) is her writer, a former journalist and marketing executive who lives in northeastern Pennsylvania.