Comma Curmudgeon by Nancy L. Eady

 My legal writing and creative writing rarely cross paths, but the comma is a topic of interest in both spheres. Sometimes the lack of a comma calls itself to my attention, as per the billboard campaign of an attorney in this state whose slogan is “Call me Alabama!” Of course, his name is not Alabama, and I am not sure why people call someone who doesn’t know his own name, but the slogan pops up everywhere in the state. 

I needed help with proofreading a brief the other day, and the paralegal doing the proof-reading returned the brief with 50 additional edits, which confused me until I realized that she was a rigid Oxford comma adherent. The Oxford comma is also known as the serial comma and has been a topic of hot debate for decades. I personally take a flexible approach. If I need a serial comma to make my meaning clear, I use it. If it’s unnecessary, I don’t. However, writers in both the legal writing field and the creative writing field are passionate in their beliefs about the Oxford comma. An Instagram appellate writing group debated the issue for three consecutive days, but no consensus was reached. Even the arbiters who usually win such arguments (the ones whose names begin with “Judge”) were divided on the issue. 

The Oxford comma has played a pivotal role in certain legal cases. For example, in 2012, a case dealt with the meaning of a New Hampshire law that exempted certain activities from time and a half overtime pay. The disputed part of the law stated that overtime pay was not required for:  

the canning, processing, preserving, freezing, drying, marketing, storing, packing for shipment or distribution of:

(1) Agricultural produce;

(2) Meat and fish products; and

(3) Perishable foods.

Did the law mean that packing for shipment of agricultural produce, meat and fish products, and perishable foods as well as distribution of the same three categories was exempt from overtime pay? Or did the law mean that only packing was exempt, whether that packing was for purposes of shipment or purposes of distribution? It mattered because the dairy truckers who sued for backpay did not pack their loads; they only distributed them. If the dairy truckers were correct, then they were owed a great deal of overtime pay. (The court held that the phrase was ambiguous, siding with the dairy truckers. However, the case was settled before a final ruling was obtained, leaving the Oxford comma in legal limbo.) 

In creative writing, comma use can be equally important. For example, “Let’s eat, Grandma” means something entirely different from “Let’s eat Grandma.” One sentence conjures up warm fuzzy images of Sunday dinners with the family gathered around the table; the other is cannibalistic. Similarly, the clarity of a headline that reads “Susie Smith finds inspiration in cooking her dog and family” would be enhanced with commas, i.e. “Susie Smith finds inspiration in cooking, her dog, and family.” (That was a bona fide headline in a real magazine; only the name of the celebrity has been changed to protect the innocent.) The litany of thanks by most award winners also benefits from comma use. Most thinking people would do a double take upon reading the sentence, “I’d like to thank my parents, Christina and God.” The phrase “I’d like to thank my parents, Christina, and God” is less startling. 

I am not and never will be a grammar/punctuation expert. My rule of thumb, whether I’m writing a legal brief or a novel, is simple: when in doubt, use whatever it takes to make the reader understand. That’s probably not the answer a true grammarian wants to see, but at least it’s an honest one. 

What are your comma pitfalls, mistakes, and pet peeves?