Seven Deadly Writer Sins

 by Kait Carson

I may have to borrow from Jimmy Buffett here if I run out of ideas, but hey, Jimmy, I remember you crooning at Bubbas, so ‘nuff said. Those of you who did not go to or hang out at the University of Miami in the early 1970s will have to make up your own stories. No, I did not know Jimmy Buffett, although I spent a lot of time listening to him when he played at Bubbas. I liked his style and Bubbas was across the street from my dorm. I did meet him one night in Sint Maarten. I was recovering from dengue fever, didn’t recognize him. When he introduced himself, I thought he was pulling my leg, and when he crooned Margaritaville just for me, I told him not to quit his day job. I doubt he’d ever thought of it again, but it’s a memory I cherish. Jimmy, I’m glad you didn’t take my advice, but a cappella? You didn’t sound like you!

How does that relate to writing? “Bank of Bad Habits” just played on my Spotify account and I realized writers have their own seven deadly sins. Thanks again, Jimmy, for the spark of inspiration.

#1 Thou shall not head hop. 

“What is head hopping?” Mavis asked. 

How can she not know? Peter wondered. She does it all the time. 

Jack shook his head in amazement and bit his tongue. Those two would argue over which way to screw in a lightbulb. 

“I have whiplash,” Kait moaned.

#2 Thou shalt not hide clues from your readers.

The key to keeping your books from hitting the wall when readers get to the end is to always play fair. This is harder than it sounds. When the sleuth stumbles across, uncovers, or develops a clue, the reader needs to have the information at precisely the same moment, even if they don’t realize the importance of the event. As a writer, I always feel as if a kick line of Rockettes is surrounding the fireworks shooting neon colored clue. My beta readers generally don’t have the same impression and only have the head-slapping aha moment at the end of the book when it all comes together.

#3 Thou shalt not make thy victim a saint.

Everyone has good and bad points. While the victim does not have to have a fatal flaw, he or she needs to be flawed enough to be a believable human. Those flaws may or may not be the reason he needs killin’, but they will generate empathy with your readers.

#4 Thou shalt not make thy criminal Satan.

Even a murderer’s dog loves him. See above for good and bad points. It’s essential that your criminal is human, and can hide in plain sight among the suspects, which brings me to number 5.

#5. Thou shalt not point thy finger at only one suspect.

Multiple suspects are required. Draw them out as if they are each the perpetrator and give every suspect motive, means, and opportunity. No one did this better than the two Dames, Agatha Christie and PD James. 

#6 Thou shalt not forget to resolve thy red herrings.

I read a book once that had more loose ends than my first attempt at knitting. Suffice it to say, I did not pick up another by that author. So, even if you don’t have a solution for a particular red herring (and there are times when life can imitate art) honor your reader and have your protagonist at least acknowledge it.

#7 Thou shalt not forget that writing is best accomplished in anticipation of chocolate and wine, or the libation of your choice.

There’s got to be some reward for long hours of sweating blood over your keyboard. A treat at the end of the day is a great motivator.

Writers, do you have a different list of sins? 

Readers, do you notice writerly transgressions?

Kait Carson writes the Hayden Kent Mysteries set in the Fabulous Florida Keys and is at work on a new mystery set in her adopted state of Maine. Her short fiction has been nationally published in True Romance, True Confessions, True Story, True Experience, and Woman’s World magazines. Her short story, Gutted, Filleted, and Fried, appeared in the Falchion Finalist nominated Seventh Guppy Anthology Hook, Line, and Sinker. She is a former President of the Guppy Chapter of Sisters in Crime, a member of Sisters in Crime, and Guppies. Visit her website at www.kaitcarson.com. While you’re there, sign up for her newsletter and receive a yummy, authentic, key lime pie recipe.