By James M. Jackson
Since you are still reading, you share my problem:
too many things on your “to do” list for the time available.
My number one best advice about solving
prioritization problems is to learn how to politely say no.
The more capable you are, the more others have stuff they want you to do. And,
unlike me, who dislikes asking anyone to help me (not one of my stronger attributes,
but that’s a different post), most people have no problem suggesting how you
should spend your time.
Employers think they can unilaterally add to your
to do list, and it takes effort and cultivated skills to learn how to manage
up. With family, especially your life partner, it can be tricky to understand that
occasionally “no” is not one of your options.
Those are external issues. The hardest challenge
for me has been saying “no” to myself. I have so many ideas: new things I’d
like to do, others I want to do better, and some I should stop doing (but which
require me to do something else to accomplish my objective of stopping).
Not all of my ideas are great—some are crap. Many,
however, have merit.
Some people grow TBR (to be read) piles or ebooks
on their readers that seem unbounded. I’m that way with worthy ideas to pursue.
Many authors share that “problem” with respect to stories they want to tell. I
have those, and nonfiction projects I’d love to do, and classes to teach, and
so on. But it’s not just in my writing business that I am creative. On no, I
have places I want to go, things I want to see and do. And then there are all
the projects I’d love to do to “improve” my land, (not to mention tasks like pulling
rocks from the road that I must do to maintain my land). And, I have my own TBR
list.
How can I say no to any of it?
I’ve learned I can’t. But I’ve also learned what
happens if I try to do everything (or even a small subset of everything): My stress
climbs like a Saturn rocket powering a moonshot, which soon leads to emotional
and physical burnout. And for me, that’s a precursor to depression. Not good.
Q: What’s someone with a creative mind like mine to
do?
A: Maintain an exceptionally large “project-on-hold”
list.
I do not reject any idea that intrigues me. Just
because it’s a wonderful idea or project or whatever, does not mean I can add
it to my to do list. It has to earn its right to my time, and that’s where
prioritization comes in. My initial response to any new idea is “nope;” I have
too many other good ideas. But if the itch persists and the idea settles in as
one I want to pursue, the “nope” becomes “not yet,” and I add the idea onto my “project-on-hold
list.”
A concept can linger on the project-on-hold list
for years. Occasionally, I delete one because it no longer holds my interest. I
allow project-on-hold ideas to activate under two circumstances. The most
frequent occurs as part of my annual project review process. Every December, I designate
priorities for the coming year. I start with a fresh sheet of paper to try to
avoid allowing sunk costs to dictate how I plan to spend my year. Less
frequently, I’ll make a mid-year change when something comes up that is so
compelling I must take it on. My rule in that case is I will only add the new item
if I remove another. If I can’t eliminate enough else to free up sufficient hours,
then I know the bright shiny new idea was not as compelling as I thought.
I have enjoyed success with this process. It has allowed
me to have what Jan calls “serial passions.” Yet, on a day-to-day basis, I can
still end up with too much to do. That’s when I reimplement lessons learned
from old time management books. I employ a two-factor system.
The first factor is how important a task is: A, B
or C.
“A” tasks are keystone tasks or those that relate
to my physical or mental health. An example of a keystone task is my daily to
do list. I know if I don’t do it, I’ll let the day slip away. That’s fine if I
have a mental break day or I am on vacation or I know I am devoting the entire
day to driving from Point 1 to Point 2. Otherwise, that five minutes in the
morning sets the day up for success. Other “A” tasks are foundational: for
example, if it’s a run day, it is extremely important that I run. Not only does
it support my physical health, but I know that missing exercise is often a
precursor to a depressive episode. So, it is important for me to not allow
“other tasks” to become an excuse to avoid exercising.
“B” tasks are those that are important to me in the
larger scheme. I’ve decided much of my writing business comprises “B” tasks.
However, if a task is “gilding the lily” or its only value is to satisfy my
curiosity or because I find the analytics interesting, I relegate it to the “C”
list.
I currently do Wordle, Quordle, and Sequence daily
and post them to Facebook. That’s a C-level task for me. Why is something so
inconsequential even a C? Because it brings me several positives: the games
challenge my brain. And I share results with others, which keeps me connected
to community—both important for my wellbeing. But they are not so important
that I should blow off running just because I haven’t done the day’s Wordle.
Overlaying the A, B, C categories is urgency. If
the front tire of the car is flat, it’s urgent I get it fixed, even if I don’t
expect to need the vehicle for a week. But you never know when you might need
it for an emergency. Urgency sometimes must trump priority.
Some urgent tasks, like the flat tire, are
extraordinary. I can’t do much about them other than to adjust. Others exist
because I screwed up. I didn’t leave enough time to meet a promised deadline.
Or I didn’t get a vital piece of information I needed to solve a problem. If
those self-induced urgencies pile up, it is a critical warning sign that my priorities
are catawampus, and it’s necessary for me to reevaluate them.
What about you? What is your method of prioritizing
life and your tasks? How is it working?
* * * * *
James
M. Jackson authors the Seamus McCree series. Full of mystery and suspense,
these thrillers explore financial crimes, family relationships, and what
happens when they mix. You can sign
up for his newsletter and find more information about Jim
and his books at https://jamesmjackson.com.
I need to learn how to say no at work, which is a real problem given the fact that no one in the organization seems to be willing to say no to anyone else.
ReplyDeleteIn my personal life? I always think I can do twice as much at night as I really can do. It's a problem I've got to figure out how to get under control.
I feel your pain, Mark.
ReplyDeleteWhen I "managed" people one of the things I needed to figure out was how good they were at estimiating how long something would take them. Some over-estimated and some (like you) under-estimated. Once I knew people's tendencies, I could adjust their estimates.
The over-estimaters were relatively easy to deal with: I was the boss so I gave them an "Unreasonable" deadline and asked them to keep me informed.
With the under-esitmaters, I worked on helping them set better norms--and deciding which steps to tackle in what order.
You are already ahead of the game at home because you understand your tendencies. We have the same problem with jobs at our place on Shank lake in Michigan's U.P. They always take longer than we expect. We have named them "Shank Lake projects." That naming gives us permission to have the job take longer than expected (it's not us, it's a Shank Lake project). That's helped.
Good luck!
I have weekly, monthly, and quarterly goals. And I am very good at saying no.
ReplyDeleteWell done, Margaret!
ReplyDeleteJust this week, I was thinking about how words make such a difference in our goals and habits. You have certainly proven that point since labels are a key part of your “Jackson System.” Interesting post, Jim, and much food for thought.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with a sense, acquired in childhood (when it was mostly true) that I have little-to-no control over where my life goes, and I know it gets in the way of my accomplishing what I'd like to do, even now, when I'm retired.
ReplyDeleteMy life has been filled with important things that seemed to just happen. Babies? Unless you're celibate, they just show up. Operating a plater in a steel fabrication plant? Well, those babies needed to eat, and that was what was available. Moving to a new area? Partner's job necessitates it. Obtaining certification in special education for emotionally disturbed teenagers and young adults? My employer (in the new area) demands it to keep my job, although no one said anything about it when I was hired. Full time caretaker for said partner when he develops dementia? Certainly not in any plan, but an absolute necessity.
Taking control over my time (and life) is an ongoing goal (and struggle.)
Susan - I've learned the hard way how important our self-talk and word choices are to how well we deal with challenges.
ReplyDeleteKM - I suspect believing we actually control our lives is the path toward madness. Controlling our reactions to our lives and shaping the curves thrown at us is about the best we can do -- but that can make a big difference. Many others would not have been able to handle the important things that "just happened" to you.
Whether one is religious or not, The Serenity Prayer applies very well here:
ReplyDeleteGod grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Thanks for reminding me to heed this advice!
Such a great template for organization, Jim. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I take a few minutes each morning to write three tasks that are most important, then I use the other task space to list the whole enchilada in three groups. 1) items I do daily as part of my routine 2) items that I will do if I accomplish my big three; and 3) stuff in the hopper for someday that I don’t want to forget. As I accomplish each item, I record it, and the time expenditure, on the Quo Vadis calendar. That holds me accountable to NOT falling down rabbit holes or goofing off. Works for me.
ReplyDeleteLisa - yes, the Serenity Prayer is good to keep in mind!
ReplyDeleteLori - you are most certainly welcome.
Kait - Sounds very structured and a great way to keep focused on your big three!