Image by Erik Mclean on Upsplash
When you run out of insults, consider these:
King Lear, William Shakespeare
“Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mungril bitch.”
The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
“I told him he didn’t even care if a girl kept all her kings in the back row or not, and the reason he didn’t care was because he was a goddam stupid moron. He hated it when you called him a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron.”
Matilda, Roald Dahl
“You blithering idiot! … You festering gumboil! You fleabitten fungus! … You bursting blister! You moth-eaten maggot!”
A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess
“Well, well, well, well. If it isn’t fat, stinking billygoat Billy-Boy in poison. How art thou, thy globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou.”
As You Like It, William Shakespeare
“I desire that we be better strangers.”
The Lion and the Unicorn, George Orwell
“He is simply a hole in the air.”
Janet's Repentance (taken from Scenes of Clerical Life), George Eliot
“A deistical prater, fit to sit in the chimney-corner of a pot-house, and make blasphemous comments on the one greasy newspaper fingered by beer-swilling tinkers.”
The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
“I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.”
Breakfast At Tiffany’s, Truman Capote
“It should take you about four seconds to walk from here to the door. I’ll give you two.”
The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
“I misjudged you… You’re not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.”
The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit, Charles Dickens
“He would make a lovely corpse”
The Long Goodbye, Raymond Chandler
"You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you."
The Dying Animal, Philip Roth
"Stop worrying about growing old. And think about growing up."
great! The Lear quote is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteI can't decide on my favorite. Love these. Thanks, Warren.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI found everyone of them funny although I'd never use them, I still enjoyed reading them.
Great insults, especially the one from King Lear. I used this one several times, but only had two that gave me the followup line, so I could use the second part, once on Twitter a few years ago, and once in person: "That is the second stupidest tweet (thing) I've seen (heard) all day." And the followup response: "Oh, yeah? What's the first?" "Whatever your next tweet is (you say next)." Both responded with silence.
ReplyDeleteI'll file these away for future use!
ReplyDeleteWarren,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great collection of quotes you've given us!