Sunday, November 12, 2017

Together We Make a Family

by Julie Tollefson

On Wednesday, the high school cross country team my husband coaches gathered for its end-of-season banquet. Runners, parents, and siblings all come together for one night to eat too much pasta and far too many desserts. A bittersweet time, for sure. The knowledge that for the seniors this one piece of high school is forever behind them casts a tiny shadow over the celebration.

There’s a lot of silliness and storytelling and laughing, though, as the juniors give the seniors funny gifts and the seniors give mementos to coaches. This year’s gift to Coach T hit right in the heartstrings when the seniors presented a photo of themselves in a frame that said “Together We Make a Family.” One of the seniors opened her arms wide to encompass all of the runners and declared, “You are our second family!”

As we head into the holiday season, I’m thankful for all of the second families I’ve been part of over the years—from my journalism school classmates in college to the mystery writing community today.

One of my “families,” formed in those crazy years of early adulthood, has held together through more than three decades. We met in the newsroom of a daily newspaper, most of us in our first post-college jobs. And we grew up together, in those crucial early twenties years when you leave your parents and college behind, full of hope and grand plans and a reckless belief in a future you can only imagine.

Together, we’ve seen marriages and births. We’ve watched our own children grow, and most of them are in their twenties now. A few of us have lost parents. Some of us have moved away. All of us have taken other jobs.

But when we get together—as we will later this week for a funeral, the most family-like of all reasons—we’re still family.

I hope the cross country seniors form many lasting friendships—families—like these, because nothing compares to that feeling of belonging when you know you’ve found your people.

Who, or what, are you thankful for this holiday season?

10 comments:

  1. Generally good health is near the top of my list of things I am thankful for.

    ~ Jim

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  2. I remember those sports team days. One of my son's teams won a championship in 2000. We were a cohesive unit. I felt wonderful to have that family. Today, other than my daughter's job issues, I'm thankful that everyone in my family seems happy and healthy--a great gift.

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  3. I'm thankful for my families. All of them, my biological family, my friends family (some going back to high school), my writing family, and my day job family.

    I bet those kids are forming lifelong families too.

    Nice post.

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  4. I'm thankful that, despite setbacks, every year seems to be better than the one before.

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  5. My girls have been part of many sports and we still have friends from some of those teams. It's wonderful.
    This year has had ups and downs for sure, but I'm grateful for the blessings of health and family and friends, and that my parents are still able to live independently at age 87.

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  6. Health is near the top of my list, too, Jim. I'm thankful for my good genes in that regard.

    EB - I just love the camaraderie of sports teams. I see it too among the debate and band and drama kids. That closeness gives me hope for the future.

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  7. KM - What a lovely sentiment!

    Shari - My grandmother (who died in September at age 98) lived independently in her own house until she was 97. Definitely something to be thankful for!

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  8. I'm thankful that my 94-year-old mother is still alive.

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  9. Julie, like some of the others said, I'm happy for my health and that I can live alone and not worry about not being able to take care of myself or my critters.

    I'm happy for my three grown children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren, my siblings none of whom have got caught up in the opioid crises. I'm thankful for the members of my two book clubs and my writing group that are like families to me, too. Today at Mass it was packed with many members of my one book club because a member's baby was being baptized and they have a very large family so more than three aisles were packed with her extended family. When I asked if I could sit in the empty chair between two of them, they both said, of course, we consider you a part of our family.

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  10. Well said, Kait. I hope so, too.

    You have a lot to be thankful for, Gloria. So nice to be included in the extended family for such a joyous occasion!

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