The difference between aloneness and loneliness
From Brownie to Senior First Class, my years as a Girl Scout enriched my life and helped me grow in so many ways. I loved our sense of camaraderie as we sat around a campfire sharing spooky stories. Laughing with new friends, learning new skills, teaching others mine, Girl Scouts expanded my world.
As ‘grown-ups’ working at home on our latest manuscripts, we need to be alone. We ponder, we stare out a window, we write a scene, then sneak off to toss another load of laundry into the dryer. Writing encourages us to hide away, to be alone.
When I Googled the word ‘aloneness’, the word ‘loneliness’ popped up next to it. Aloneness is defined as a good thing. It means you choose to be alone and enjoy it. Often we feel happy and panicked about our writing at the same time.
In my journey to getting my first book in the Chesapeake Bay Mystery Series written, an agent obtained, a publisher’s contract signed, loneliness crept in. I was cautious about telling corporate coworkers my aspirations. It was easy to fall into the loneliness trap. Loneliness is rarely a good feeling. Loneliness is the feeling most of us have when we want to connect with someone and no one is around to connect with. I always enjoy meeting people and I know interactions in different settings helps my writing. Opportunities to observe new settings and types of people adds depth and interest to my books. After all, mysteries are about internal and external thoughts, differences, and conflicts.
About five years ago, I joined my local Chesapeake ‘Chessie’ Chapter of Sisters in Crime. A year later, I joined the Mid-Atlantic Chapter of Mystery Writers of America. Oh, how I wish I’d met these organizations sooner!
Our Chessie Chapter holds a Zoom meeting an hour each day. Faces change from one day to another because of other commitments. It’s flexible and helps us get to know other authors, discuss projects, webinars, successes and failures.
Writing groups remind me of the smell of a campfire, the burned tongue from smores, the laughter from silly jokes. They remind me to recognize the difference between aloneness and loneliness.
Do you have your own campfire blazing? I’d love to hear how it helps you write.
Judy L Murray is the award-winning author of the Chesapeake Bay Mystery Series. Find her at www.judylmurraymysteries.com
