"There's a sucker born every
minute." P.T. Barnum is said to have coined
the phrase, although there's no evidence he actually said it. Nevertheless, the
statement is accurate. Human beings are prone to believe what they wish to be
true.
Anyone old enough to remember the ad for Sea-Monkeys on the inside back cover of comic books? For a mere $1.25 (cash, check, or money order), you could own "a bowlfull [sic] of happiness." The ad featured human-like pink creatures with friendly smiles, tri-crowned head, and fish tails.
What kid could resist that? Not me.
I sent off my five quarters in an envelope, and two weeks later, I received a
packet of creepy flagellating organisms, in reality a form of miniscule brine
shrimp, observable only through a magnifying glass. Not only were the critters strangely resistant to my training [deciding what I actually wanted them to do was my first problem], but they also promptly perished.
Harold von Braunhut, the
entrepreneur who passed off brine shrimp as trainable pets, also patented X-Ray
Spectacles; Amazing Hair-Raising Monsters, a card with a printed monster that
would sprout hair-like mineral crystals when you added water; and Invisible
Goldfish, imaginary fish guaranteed to remain permanently invisible (that one
worked).
The world of publishing has its
Harold von Braunhuts as well, and they target aspiring writers. These scam
artists promise to read your book, publish it, and sell it on Amazon, where it
is sure to become the next best-seller. All for a fee, of course. Now to be
clear, I am not talking about the reasonable fees charged by legitimate editors
and reputable self-publishers who offer solid advice and provide quality
services. I am talking about scammers and scoundrels who prey on naïve people who
don't understand how publishing really works.
Several years ago, AARP The Magazine featured an article on
vanity-publishing scams: "Five Self-Publishing Scams to Watch For."
Their five warning signs are worth noting:
1. EXTRAVAGANT FLATTERY.
You know the kind of thing: "Share
your story with the world! You could be the next break-out best seller!"
Well, maybe you could, but if so, you don't need them.
2. GRAND PROMISES.
"Your book will appear in every
bookstore in America." Ha! What they mean is your book may be listed on a
book distributor database, available only if requested. That's not the same
thing as actually selling the book into stores. HUFFPOST (7/29/17) said,
"Although results are not guaranteed, and will never in fact be realized,
vanity presses imply:
*
That your book has the potential to find itself on a bestseller's list (($1,999
fee)
*
That Julia Roberts could one day play you in a movie ($3,999 fee)
*
That you could get exposure from major media outlets ($5,999 fee)."
3. INEFFECTIVE MARKETING
All-inclusive packages include
editing, proofreading, printing, binding, distribution, publicity, and
shipping. For an extra fee, they'll write a press release and email it to
thousands of media outlets, where it will be promptly shunted into spam
filters. The vanity publisher doesn't care. Their profit comes not from book
sales but from the author. They can make as much money from a flop as a
success.
4. CONVOLUTED CONTRACTS
Scam publishers typically sneak in
clauses that sound good but actually deliver little and put all the risk on the
author. For example, they may promise to deliver the books "in a timely
manner," and yet they are not responsible for "circumstances beyond
their control." Often the author is required to purchase a bunch of books
in advance. Never sign a contract until you've taken legal advice.
5. COPYRIGHT TRICKERY
While an ISBN number (International
Standard Book Number) is easy to purchase ($125 from the U.S. ISBN Agency at Bowker), and an author in
the U.S. automatically owns the copyright to his or her work, scam artists try
to convince you that you need them to navigate this "tricky and expensive
process"—which proves to be expensive because you end up paying the real
fee plus their often-extravagant "administrative costs."
Other scams include fake
"agents," who charge a reading and/or an editing fee, and fake
writing contests that charge exorbitant entry fees and may require the
"winners" to pay for their slab of acrylic and chicken dinner at the
so-called "winners' banquet."
Thankfully, there are websites out
there to help writers spot scam artists. Here are a few good ones: Writer
Beware, Predators & Editors, Publishing Central.
Have you ever been targeted by a
publishing scam? What cautions would you pass along to aspiring writers?
