Remembering Tanya Gee

Judge Tanya Gee

by Paula Gail Benson

In August of 2013, I had the privilege of introducing WWK’s readers to Tanya Gee. Here’s a link to that interview, “Tanya Gee, My Hero.”

Now, I sadly must report her passing. Even though Tanya faced an aggressive form of cancer, she did so with grace, dignity, and humor. Writing was a critical part of Tanya’s life. Her efforts weren’t fiction, although she appreciated it. Tanya was a lawyer. A very good one. Her undergraduate degree was in sociology, and she was a student of people. But, she was more than just an observer. She reached out to others to help and encourage them. During her memorial service, her colleague, S. C. Supreme Court Justice Kaye Hearn, spoke of a sweet note Tanya kept on her desk from a child she spent time reading with at an elementary school. Tanya realized the value of words and used them well.

Perhaps the best example of Tanya’s effective communication is her final message she left on Facebook, which was later reprinted with the family’s permission in The State, Columbia, S.C.’s daily newspaper. She eloquently called it “her concession speech.” No one who knew and loved Tanya wanted to read those words. We had watched on the sidelines, cheering as she valiantly took on the dreaded cancer. She was our warrior. If anyone could beat it, she must have the essential skill. And, there were so many reasons that she needed to be a victor.

Even though she knew her body was failing her, Tanya’s mind and spirit remained strong. Here are her own words from her “concession speech”:

“We all die, right? And we all know we’re going to die someday. That’s part of living. Perhaps it’s because of this that I feel strangely calm about knowing that it will be cancer that kills me. I have many nights in the hospital room to reflect on life and death, and I tell you truly that I am not scared to die. I do feel a sense of guilt that I have let my body betray me and I will cause other people sadness. My children, my parents, my husband, and my dear friends will cry, and wonder, and question their faith. I wish that I were able to make everyone feel as calm as I do. I am damn proud of the life I lived, the children I have, the husband I married, and the circle of friends I leave behind. I hate that I’m leaving the party early, but am awed by being on the brink of taking the next step which we all should be looking forward to. . . .

“Writing this update is also difficult. I always talk about cancer using terms like ‘fight,’ ‘kicking ass,’ and ‘winning.’ I don’t like conceding that I have lost the fight because I don’t feel like a loser right now. I feel like I have one last battle in front of me, and that is to die well. That’s a battle I pledge to win.”

In the time since I interviewed Tanya, she became a judge. Her practice had been in appellate work, so it’s not surprising that she aspired to be a jurist. The fact that she achieved her dream and earned the overwhelming respect of the bench and bar was extraordinary considering that her own personal battle would have been enough to consume her time and energy.

But Tanya was a person who wanted to give back to her community. Even more, she wanted to be there for her wonderful family, her doting husband Chris and intelligent, courageous son Will and daughter Sabin.

Her Facebook page was full of happy references to her children’s activities and discoveries. She adored them. They are strong, beautiful human beings, a very large part of her incredible legacy. In Chris’ message to friends of Tanya’s passing, he said Sabin had been proud that her mother lived “an epic life.”

Thank you Chris, Will, and Sabin for sharing Tanya with us. We are equally proud and appreciative that our lives have been touched by hers.

Have you lost someone whose actions and words made an impact on your life?

Photo of Tanya Gee from FitsNews.com