Tourists Behaving Badly

by Shari Randall

Ahh, Hawaii!

When I began my trip to Hawaii, I had certain expectations: beautiful beaches, volcanoes, delicious tropical fruits, men twirling batons tipped with fire. I saw all these things plus something I never expected and hope I never see again.

Now, I'll admit, I'm not the world's most perfect traveler. Waiters in Korea came running with a fork when they saw my struggles with chopsticks. In Dubrovnik, I wasn't really shopping for souvenirs like I told my husband, but was in the bathroom for ten minutes trying to figure out how to flush the toilet.

This is why I have a soft spot for travelers. Not everything translates. Not everything is obvious, especially to the jet-lagged.

A great photo of my finger at the top of Diamond Head  (sigh)

But the tourist misbehavior I witnessed this week went beyond befuddlement with local custom and language and veered right into Darwin Awards territory - and maybe something even darker.

 

Not familiar with the Darwin Awards? They're given to recognize the horrifyingly dumb and fatal way some folks remove themselves from the gene pool. After what I saw on Diamond Head and Makapu'u I think it's no accident that Darwin was on an island when he came up with his theory.

 

Diamond Head's majestic mountain profile rises high over Waikiki. It's a magnet for tourists so I found myself huffing up the trail of the extinct volcano with hundreds of others eager for the spectacular view at the top. Signs posted on the ascent warn hikers to stay on the path to protect the fragile ecosystem and themselves from a slip on the sandy lava rock. Visitors are warned away from the military bunkers that jut precariously over sheer cliff faces. Signs are posted in the simplest language. DANGER. STAY OFF.

 

Yet at the top, a dozen young men clambered on top of a crumbling bunker hundreds of feet over the Pacific, selfie sticks held high, as they filmed videos of themselves. Photos are so 2010. Now one must post video, complete with thumping soundtrack, as you spoil the view for your fellow visitors.

 

So maybe these guys couldn't read English? They all spoke it from what I could hear. Perhaps they didn't see the signs? There were plenty. And besides, these guys ignored the biggest signs of all: They clambered over chest-high chain link fences to access these fragile areas.

I know, I know. You kids, get off my lawn! But I think there's more to it than just my inner curmudgeon expressing herself.

 

The thing, the darker thing, I saw?

 

At one spectacular viewpoint on the road to the Makapu'u lighthouse, one can watch wild waves crash into rock ledges, sending tons of water spray into the air. Sometimes water surges and claws onto the rocks, too, sweeping across in dramatic arcs, washing the slippery rock clean.

 

The ledge is quite a bit further down.

As we approached the viewpoint with those same danger signs plus a waist-high stone wall, I joined a group watching in horror as a mother led her toddler toward the end of the ledge, into the spray. The little boy hung back, showing more sense than his mother did, but she pulled him forward, toward the edge. Toward the surging water.

I leaned toward my husband, a former lifeguard. "If she goes in, don't you go, too!"

But of course he would, and so would some of the others who watched as she eventually returned, her expression defiant: See, you wusses, I'm fine!

 

That's the problem with candidates for the Darwin Award. Sometimes they take good people with them.

 

Then my mystery writer brain kicked in and I wondered if that woman had a life insurance policy on the child. Dibs on that idea, ok?

 

Have you ever seen tourists behaving badly? What on earth motivates people to do these things?