Pass the Mustard by KM Rockwood

English is a wonderfully diverse and expressive language. Those of us who write appreciate its depth and richness.

But it’s also a language that is ripe for misinterpretation, often with unexpectedly humorous results.

Song lyrics are especially likely to be misconstrued. Like the person who could never quite figure out what the “baboons on the right”were doing in “Bad Moon Rising.”

Or one of my friends who for years confidently sang, “Come on, Come on, Come on, Come on, Come on, Camilla” instead of “Karma Chameleon.”

And the “Long Tall Lady in a Black Chest.”

Some people hear “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not” for “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not.”

For multi-linguals, there’s the fellow who said, "For Michael Jackson's 'Billie Jean,' I would sing 'She’s just a girl who claims I am the one but yo quiero una manzana.' Then about four years ago it dawned on me that he couldn’t possibly want an apple. The correct lyrics are '…but the kid is not my son.' One of my friends laughed so hard she legit peed herself."*

In "Help Me, Rhonda," some people hear "Well, since you put me down there's been owls pukin' in my bed." It sounds messy and doesn’t make a lot of sense, but sometimes song lyrics don’t.

Bob Dylan never really complained that “My sensitive manatee has gone down the drain,” but rather “My sense of humanity has gone down the drain.”*

Common sayings can be misunderstood and end up with a whole new meaning. An earnest friend whose first language was not English would dismiss confused people as “not playing with a full desk.” I can see that.

I don’t really think, though, that military troops really want to “pass the mustard” as they assemble for muster. Maybe in the chow hall later.

And kids come up with some good ones. In a class with beginning readers, a student talked about a picture of “a frigging elephant.” The somewhat alarmed teacher asked to see it. There it was, a picture of an elephant with the caption, “African elephant.”

One class had two guinea pigs named Liberty and Justice. The kids named their somewhat unexpected offspring “Frall.”

Can you think of any other examples, either true or old wise tales?

* https://ultimateclassicrock.com/misheard-lyrics/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral