I’m not sure
what it is about the start of a new year that makes me feel like I can conquer
the impossible. Every January I feel inspired. Nothing is too hard. In January I
know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can give up junk food, drink 64 ounces
of water every day and eliminate processed sugars from my diet. I can write
5,000 words per day, keep my sock drawer clean (and find every sock’s mate) and
in my spare time, balance my checkbook. I am woman. Hear me roar.
This feeling
of euphoria and power typically lasts about a week, two weeks max. This year,
by January 10th I wasn’t even sure I knew where my sock drawer was. I made it
without coffee for the thirty-five minutes it took for me to drive from my
house to my office (don’t judge, after 35 minutes on I-75 I was lucky I didn’t
stop at the liquor store). As for eliminating processed sugars…my coworkers
bought donuts and cookies and pushed them in front of me at the start of my
8:00am meeting (lack of sugar might have made me a bit…testy). I haven’t
exercised. There’s water in coffee (it counts). I can’t find my checkbook, so I
can’t be expected to balance it. And, let’s not talk about my daily word count.
However, despite my annual fall off the precipice of hope, I still feel excited
and inspired for 2020.
A new year
brings new experiences, and those experiences translate into ideas for stories.
People often ask where I get the ideas for my books. I’ve said it before and
I’ll say it again, I find inspiration everywhere. So, what inspiration have I
found in 2020? Christmas tree bags.
I recently
went in search of a bag to store my artificial Christmas tree. I have never
used a Christmas Tree bag before. I’ve moved a lot over the years, and I’ve
learned to keep boxes for large items. However, I found this Christmas Tree box
to be bulky and unwieldy. I also wanted something that would be easy to
transport, and now that I don’t have a basement (it’s a Southern thing), I didn’t
like the idea of putting my Christmas Tree in the garage where bugs and insects
could get to it (I hate insects). My search led me to a bag that can hold a 9.5
ft tree (disassembled), has wheels, reinforced handles, a pocket for…well,
whatever you need to put in it. Plus, it's waterproof and protects from dust,
moisture and insects. Winner, winner chicken dinner.
I will admit
that my 7.5 ft tree took a bit of finagling (no skinny anorexic trees in my
house), but I managed to shove it inside. As I rolled it down the hall and into
a closet, I couldn’t help but wonder, if this miracle bag of science could hold
a body. Unfortunately, the packaging material didn’t include weight limits. My
sister discouraged me from writing the manufacturer to ask (honestly, I’m
pretty sure any big brother watch dog organization already has me on their list
due to my browser search history), but I agreed that it could cause more
problems than it was worth. However, if you see a Christmas Tree Bag in a
future V.M. Burns mystery, remember you read it here first.
V.M. (Valerie) Burns was born in northwestern
Indiana and spent many years in Southwestern Michigan on the Lake Michigan
shoreline. She is a lover of dogs, British historic cozies, and scones with
clotted cream. After many years in the Midwest, she went in search of milder
winters and currently lives in Eastern Tennessee with her poodles. Her debut
novel, The Plot is Murder, was nominated for a 2017 Agatha Award for
Best First Novel. Valerie is a member of Mystery Writers of America, Dog
Writers of America, Crime Writers of Color, International Thriller Writers, and
Sisters in Crime. Readers can learn more by visiting her website at
vmburns.com.
