It Ain't Easy Being Mean

IT AIN'T EASY BEING MEAN

I went to a quaint English village

Intending to murder and pillage

My plans were in vain: I met Miss Jane

Even got stuck with the billage

Then I went to the Florida coast

To turn an insured business to toast

Wouldn’t do, you see. There was McGee

My client wanted me for the roast

Next I went to the city called ‘Frisco

To run a scam as smooth as Crisco©

But I got played by the man, Sam Spade

Haven’t felt so clumsy since disco

No matter where I go when I travel

Someone’s there and my schemes unravel

I’m just not good at being a hood

I’ll stick close to home and play Scrabble©