If you are interested in blogging or want to promote your book next year, please contact E. B. Davis at writerswhokill@gmail.com

Our July interviews include: Susan Boyer on July 6, Dorothy Cannell, July 13th, Mary Feliz, July 20th, and RF James on July 27th.

Saturday Guest Bloggers: 7/2 Lesley Diehl, 7/9 D. J. Adamson, 7/16 Nancy Raven Smith, 7/23 Kait Carson, and 7/30, Elaine Macko.

Warren Bull has two short stories, "A Christmas Journey" and "Killer Eulogy" in the Darkhouse anthology titled Black Coffee. Available--Now! Warren's short story collection No Happy Endings is also available at Amazon in paper or Amazon for Kindle.

Jim Jackson's story "Mad Money" was published in the 2016 Winter edition of Mysterical-e.

KM Rockwood's Abductions and Lies, the 6th in the Jesse Damon Crime Novel series, will be released in April. "Last Laugh," a short story in the anthology Black Coffee is available on Amazon. "Tarnished Hope," a short story in Murder Most Conventional, sponsored by Malice Domestic, April 29, at the conference. "Frozen Assets," a short story in Chesapeake Crimes: Storm Warning, release date May 14th (an anthology compiled by Chessie Chapter of SINC)

Gloria Alden released the seventh book in her Catherine Jewell mystery series, Blood Red Poinsettias, which is available at Amazon. Congratulations, Gloria.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday, January 7, 2011

Where do the Quick Children Play?



Where Do The Quick Children Play?

I am often puzzled by signs. There is no way to ask them for additional information, which leaves me with unanswered questions, such as:

Signs that warn me that ahead there are SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING leave me in doubt about the title of this piece. Where do the quick children play? And are the children I’m warned about speed-deficient, or not too bright?

I’ve learned that we’re supposed to park on the driveway and drive on the parkway but, for heaven’s sake, do not believe the signs that assure you this place is FINE FOR PARKING.

Of the two signs that inform drivers the speed limits is about to change, it seems to me that REDUCED SPEED AHEAD just gives information he or she may choose to ignore. REDUCE SPEED AHEAD tells drivers what to do. I much prefer the latter.

DEER CROSSING; do the deer know that?

If I drive in one direction from my house, I am confronted by a sign that warns about SPEED BUMPS AHEAD. If I drive in another direction there is a sign that informs me there are SPEED HUMPS AHEAD. I’ve bounced over both and I cannot tell the difference. In Jamaica the obstructions are called “sleeping policemen.”

While I appreciate the honesty of some signs I wonder about the wisdom of the business owner, e.g. 10 GROSS ACRES FOR SALE. I guess the owner sold all the good properties. I.V. RESTAURANT CHINESE FOOD TO GO. I’m not in that much of a hurry. WE HAVE MEXICAN FOOD. WE HAVE GAS! More than I need to know.

I was not enticed by a sign outside a Western attraction that announced ENJOY MUSIC AND GUNFIGHTS. I do, however, think they have the sequence correct.

What have you seen that made you chuckle or scratch your head?

7 comments:

E. B. Davis said...

Loved it Warren.
My son was seven when he saw a sign near a window that said, "Don't play with blinds." He turned to me and said, "that's mean!"
"Why?" I asked.
"They don't want us to play with blind kids."
Needless to say, at home we had curtains.

Pauline Alldred said...

Falling rocks always confuses me. How can I avoid falling rocks? Drive fast and leave the area behind as fast as possible. Or drive slow so I can stop quickly. Fallen rocks would make sense because I would know to drive slow and be prepared to drive around a rock.

And what about blind driveway? I would go out of my way to avoid buying a house with a blind driveway. No matter how slowly I drive past a blind driveway, i could still collide with an overeager driver on the way out of the driveway. And how blind is it? If you really can't see anything, I'd probably never leave the driveway.

James Montgomery Jackson said...

SLOW CURVES -- when I was younger I was on the lookout for fast curves, but now in my dotage, slow curves can be just as attractive.

Michigan signs advise thusly: "DO NOT PASS WHEN ONCOMING TRAFFIC IS PRESENT." Gosh I wish I had thought of that first.

~ Jim

Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

Warren Bull said...

What about, "Keep this door closed at all times?" Why have a door if you can never open it?

Kaye George said...

I love stuff like this, Warren. My fave is a sign on a restaurant near Galveston: We serve Christians. I've always wondered what they taste like, but I think I'd rather have the lion, thank you.

A fun post!

morganalyx said...

Great post, Warren. Gallagher has the English language, you have our signage! :o)

In one of my loopy moods, I commented on a sign that read: WATCH FOR ICE ON BRIDGE. "Why?" I asked my fellow passengers. "Will it be committing icicide?" Not as funny now, I realize...but in the moment, we were all howling.

Alyx