Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Shamed Into Exercising

I’m not the most athletic person in the world and prefer sitting in a comfy chair writing or reading rather than sweatin’ to the oldies. I do halfheartedly attempt to exercise by walking or riding a stationary bike at a relaxed pace from time to time. Also, and I think this qualifies as weight-lifting, I heft dishes from the dishwasher into cabinets and vacuum regularly.

I’ve heard about the alleged benefits of exercise and how it releases endorphins in the body which are supposed to create a feeling of happiness. I’m skeptical since I’ve never felt an endorphin or happy after exercise--only tired and hungry. The way I see it, my protagonist burns enough calories for both of us chasing villains around the world.

However, in recent years I’ve noticed that my topography has changed. My axis has tilted and my land masses are beginning to slide into each other. Being more of a thinker than a doer, I thought about this situation…then thought some more. Finally, I decided that there wasn’t much to be done to prevent further continental drift.

I was fine with my decision until a newly fit and trim friend visited. She had joined a gym and enrolled in their 100 squats a day club where they nag, I mean text, a daily reminder, to do squats. (Another great reason not to give out your cell phone number because stuff like that can happen.) It made me think for a minute (just a minute) that perhaps I should be more physically active.

Then, in an unexpected plot twist, my husband said that he planned to purchase a home gym next year. Have you seen those things? They look like updated Inquisition torture devices or something from Silence of the Lambs. My grand plan is to sit on the attached gym chair while reading a book, reach over and clunk the weights occasionally so it sounds like I’m working out.

Then I read that Dara Torres, who is 44 (old for an Olympian), was chosen to swim in the 2012 Olympics. And this summer 62 year old Diana Nyad, suffering from asthma, swam 67 nautical miles, half way between Cuba and Florida, for 40 hours braving multiple jellyfish stings.

To make matters worse, recently 100 year old (that’s not a typo) Fauja Singh finished the Toronto marathon in just over eight hours wearing a yellow turban and matching t-shirt with the words "Sikhs in the City" on the front. The kicker is that he didn’t begin running until he was 89 and now runs 10 miles a day. What the heck happened to aging quietly and gracefully?

This exercise epidemic has spread to the younger generation too. Instead of throwing wild bachelorette parties, young women are choosing yoga or 10k run parties before they get married. What’s wrong with kids these days?!

The bottom line is that I give up. The shame is too deep. Henceforth, I publicly vow to balance my sedentary writing lifestyle with exercise…after I’ve finished reading a book in front of the fire while eating a second helping of pumpkin pie.

6 comments:

  1. I think individuals have to see the good results from exercise before they commit. Unless they have a compulsive urge to follow any health trend that becomes fashionable for a moment. My guess--if you don't make a big issue about what you don't do, you can still get away with vigorously turning pages rather than running.

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  2. My diagnosis is: You've been thinking about it too much. My advice: When the urge to exercise hits, eat a cookie and lie down until it goes away.

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  3. Sorry, Kara, but I don't share your POV. I've exercised all my life, starting with ice skating as a child. I moved on to running in my twenties, but the times have changed. Not only can running alone be dangerous, but I've found at a certain age that a treadmill is kinder to my knees.

    Joining a gym is the best way to exercise. I pay $20 a month at Gold's. The home contraption that you buy will become antiquated. When you have other activities around the house to do, you will do them and avoid your gym. Plus, it will not give you the most important exercise of all--aerobic heart strengthening excercise. At the gym, you have all that regardless of the weather and getting out of your environment itself is refreshing. They must pay to update the equipment.

    Find one that has a sauna and/or whirlpool. In the winter, nothing is better to warm up your muscles than that heat. The only way to age gracefully is to exercise.

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  4. Thank you, Pauline, Warren and E.B. for the excellent advice about exercising. Three very different points of view - turn a page as sport, eat then lie down when the urge hits or join a gym. Hmmm I'll have to mull over these options...

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  5. I was crippled in a car accident when I was 18. At the time, I was a semi-pro rodeo athlete, moving from Midwest to TX to go pro. The drs said I would never ride again and that was sufficient motivation to prove them wrong. Now, forty plus years later, I walk a minimum of a mile every day with my German Shepherds because I am scared if I sit still too long, I will rust like the tin man. Becoming an exercise fanatic benefitted me in too many ways to list, but not to mention the birth of my five children averaged five hours each because I had good stomach and back muscles. Now things are catching up with me so I'm slower but still moving under my own power. After walking, I can write for another few hours because I think while I walk or listen to audiobooks, analyzing while enjoying. That also takes the "work" out of workout because the time passes w/o realizing it. You have everything to gain and a lot (?) to lose. Good luck!!

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  6. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story! You were so young yet showed amazing courage and fortitude after going through such a life changing experience. I imagine your recovery was lengthy and a series of small daily steps. You have motivated me to exercise and to never give up. All the best!

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