Welcome Wednesday guests for July: Edith Maxwell 7/2, Kendel Lynn 7/9, Leslie Budewitz 7/16, Krista Davis 7/23, Janet Simpson 7/30.

Gloria Alden's latest publication is nonfiction. Boys Will Be Boys: The Joys and Terrors of Raising Boys. Edited by Cher'ley Grogg was recently released and available on Amazon. Gloria wrote three essays and two poems in her chapter included in the book.


Congratulations to four of WWK’s bloggers whose books were released in the last two months. Look for Jim Jackson’s second Seamus McCree novel, Cabin Fever; Linda Rodriguez's new Skeet Bannion mystery, Every Hidden Fear; KM Rockwood's new Jesse Damon novel, Brothers in Crime; and Gloria Alden's third Catherine Jewell Mystery, Ladies of the Garden Club. All of the novels are available at bookstores in print and ebook.

Paula Gail Benson's short story "Confidence in the Family" is featured in the Mystery Times Ten 2013 anthology, which can be bought at Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Times-2013-Linda-Browning/dp/0984203583/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1387240857&sr=8-2

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Friday, September 9, 2011

Resilience



RESILIENCE

When presented with a severe problem or life event like the loss of a child, a bitter divorce or the diagnosis of a chronic illness some people get stuck in reacting to the event and other people manage to overcome the tragedy and have productive, satisfying lives. The difference seems to be what we label resilience.

Both groups look pretty much the same initially. We know that the process of mourning feeling of grief, numbness, denial, and dissociation seem universal. Those who progress through the stages of mourning have certain characteristics in common.

They have at least the A’s— Attitude, attribution and action. Sometimes called optimism, it is the persistent belief that, bad as things are and bleak as the future looks, life in general is still good. Things may never recover entirely but things can get better. Sometimes the belief is tied to a religious faith.

They believe that their efforts have an effect both when they succeed and when they fail. They know they are not completely in control of problems but have faith that they can have at least some influence on what is happening.

These people plan and take action. Years ago a group of army recruits got lost in the Alps just before massive blizzards were predicted. An experienced sergeant broke his leg and had to be evacuated by helicopter. The blizzards set in and it was weeks before search parties could begin the search. Expecting to find few or no survivors the searcher found the entire group together and in good spirits. The survivors explained that one of the recruits found a map of the mountains in his pocket. Together the men decided where they were and the route to take to get out of the mountains. Back in camp an officer examined the map and found it was for the Pyrenees Mountains not the Alps. The soldiers developed a plan and took action that could not work. And it saved their lives.

Another characteristic of resilient people is that are self accepting. They are anti-perfectionists. They learn and improve skills over time but they don’t expect to be perfect the first time. They have enough confidence to understand that mistakes are expected and they provide lessons to learn. The opposite of all or nothing thinking. They manage the powerful emotions of the difficult situation without getting frozen by fear or depression.

Usually resilient people have strong relationships with family members, friends and others where they feel free to express the full rage of emotions they experience about the crisis. They don’t need to put up a false front and pretend to be brave when they feel like quivering Jell-O. Relationships of that quality develop only when both parties are willing to put aside their needs at times to be loving and supportive, so resilient people also offer reassurance and help to others.

Who do you know who is resilient?

10 comments:

Victor J. Banis said...

Excellent post, Warren, thanks for sharing it.

Warren Bull said...

You're welcome, Victor.

Pauline Alldred said...

I'd guess the resilient keep the human race moving forward.

Kara Cerise said...

When I think of resilient authors, I think of Laura Hillenbrand, author of Seabiscuit and Unbroken, who writes while confined to her home and bed due to severe chronic fatigue syndrome.

E. B. Davis said...

Wow! I didn't know that Kara. I'd say my sister-in-law who has overcome so much. The characteristics you described reminded me of those characteristics of good parents; those who expect failures, don't expect perfection and those who don't think in the black and white of absolutes. I guess I love resilient people. Great blog, Warren.

Warren Bull said...

Pauline, I think pioneers of all kinds are resilience.

Warren Bull said...

Kara, I had no idea about Laura Hillenbrand. Wow!

Warren Bull said...

EB, I has not thought of that. Good parents are resilience and encourage resilience in their children.
Thanks.

Jacqueline Seewald said...

One way writers deal with personal tragedy is by writing. Poetry has always been a wonderful outlet for me.

Warren Bull said...

Jacqueline,

I agree and writing about personal tragedy is a positive response to it.