Friday, April 15, 2011

My Books Are Having More Fun Than I Am

My Books Are Having More Fun Than I Am

As an author I admit that I live through my characters. They kill people who annoy them (or me.) They make snappy retorts that I can rarely come up with in a time to put someone in his or her place. They are sexier and more dangerous than I have ever been.

Okay I can live with that. I tried writing about myself and became so bored that I fell asleep over the keyboard, well…almost.

But where is it written that my books should have a better time than I am?

Item one: A new copy of my out of print novel, Abraham Lincoln for the Defense is on sale from a used bookseller for more than a hundred dollars. I don’t get paid that much per page. Why should a bookseller who didn’t scribble a word or take a risk in publishing an unknown author get that much money?

Item two: Fish Tales: The Guppy Anthology http://www.wildsidebooks.com/Fish-Tales-The-Guppy-Anthology-edited-by-Ramona-DeFelice-Long-trade-pb_p_7754.html has been in the top 25 selling books of its type according to Amazon.com which has developed a formula designed to drive authors insane. It is based in part in recent sales, tide charts and fillet of a fenny snake. I was the bestselling author in Green Valley, Arizona for one day when my mom called in favors from all her friends in her retirement community. My sales among the over seventy-five crowd were stellar. With that sole exception my books are more popular than I am.

Item three: A used copy of Murder Manhattan Style was on sale in Exeter, England and I’ve never even been there. Why should my books get to travel more than I do? I have envied my characters before. Now I envy my books

Note: A shameless plug for Murder Manhattan Style follows: Buy it at http://www.ninthmonthpublishing.com/books.html

So, if you could get away scot free, what has one of your characters done that you would really love to do?

10 comments:

  1. One of my character's killed her husband without one twinge of guilt. It's not the killing that I envy, it's the lack of guilt and the decisiveness. There are so many gray areas in life where there is no clear moral path. I envy people who have no doubt. But then again, I sometimes think that they are fools too.

    When I went to buy your Lincoln novel, I saw the price tag of that buyer and wondered whether or not it was actually a typo. I didn't buy it from him.

    I've read Murder Manhattan Style and enjoyed it. Some of my favorites where from the Civil War era. You have the ability to captivate the reader. I was emersed.

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  2. Thanks E.B., I'm glad you didn't spring for the Lincoln book. I agree it would be easier to live in a world without so many shades of gray. Easier for me but harder for any poor souls who have to live around me.

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  3. Fun post. Thanks for my morning smile!

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  4. Enjoyed the post! I agree that we should be able to have as much fun as our characters and travel as much as our books!

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  5. Jillian, Yes, we should be able to. If that were true, what would be write about?

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  6. If I could, I'd fly to Scotland in a private Leer jet with the male of my choice and we'd take a boat to an island nature sanctuary where there are four times as many birds as people.Birds have poor bathroom habits and make a lot of noise en masse but they aren't petty and they don't waste time on idle ( wrote idol at first and there are no accidents)gossip.

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  7. If you need someone to carry your luggage, please let me know.

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  8. Boy, I know *exactly* what you mean, Warren. Heck, one of my books is on its way to Finland. Will I ever get to Finland? Ha! Fat chance. By the way, a new copy of my very first book is for sale on Amazon for $80 or thereabouts. That's just about what I made for the book. Sigh.

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  9. You nailed it, Alice! You obviously know about the writing life.

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